Ang relationship

made circa 2007 due to boredom in algebra (i think)

Unsa man nang relationship?

Kinsa man ang nakahibaw sa pasabot sa relationship?

Kining relationship, mao ni maayong pagdawat sa usa ka higala. Mao ni ang pagsugod sa maayonh pag-amigohay. Sa laki ug babay, mao ni ang gitawag nga panag-uyab. Sa pamilya, mao ni ang pagsulti sa imong mga kalipayan, kalapasan, kasal-anan, kalampusan.. Halos tanan nimung mabuhat sa imung kinabuhi imu jud nang isulti sa imung pamilya.

Musulti man jud ka sa imung mga amigo, pero mas nindut jud if musulti ka sa imung pamilya, kay ngano? Ani ay:

Bai, kabaw ba ka sa score nako sa math? 43/50.

Wa ka sa ako, 45/50.

Kundi kay:

Kita ka sa akong manghud? Maayo kaayo mubasket sa?

Wa na sa akong manghud, mas maayo pa.

Kakuha mo?

Awa, kung musulti mo sa imung mama o papa, kabaw mu unsa ilang tubag? Ini ay:

43/50? Daku.a gud! Maayo na, anak. Sa sunod, perfect najud na.

Diba gaan kaayo siya paminawn? Ma inspyr jud ka ba. Mura bitwg, gusto nimu na dakoon pa jud nimu imong skor sa? Bahin atong basketball, ug musulti ka ato sa imung papa, sus, ka dakong kalipay jud ana! Laki man gud na imo papa, hilig pajud ug sports, malipay jud na!

Dili rana sa mga inana; gagmay ranang mga butanga. Kabaw ba kang dili maayo ng pamkak? Tanang dili maayo nga butang magsugod jud ug mutapos sa pagpamakak. Pananglitan, mangayo mu ug kwarta kay mupalit mu ug pagkaon. Diha palang, namakak namu. Sa sulod sa inyung utok, mangayo mu ug kwarta kay mupalit mu ug jolen ba ron, o baraha ba ron, o ihantak ba.

All is well

Of life, friendship, love, family, career, all is and will be well.

The movie 3 Idiots taught me so many things about life in a matter of 3 hours. Especially now that I am about to move on to the next chapter in my life. Well, it scares me a little bit but hey, all is well.

The heart easily scares, therefore we have to trick it. I usually am the one who encourages me to do my best. It's like I have multiple personalities or something. I either say, "You can do it!" Or, "Don't be scared!" and then I can calmly do the things that I would do. Now, I have a new quote to say to myself: "All is well!" It may not solve all my problems, but I will have the courage to do it somehow. It all starts there.

We can really never force anyone to do anything that he doesn't want to do. In India, they pretty much have no other choice but to follow whatever their parents say. Prolly because of poverty. However, the movie encourages everyone that we should follow what our hearts desire. In other words, make your passion your profession. Pretty interesting quote, huh?

What the movie didn't forget to impart was the importance of the family. You can do whatever you want with your life but you must inform the family. You will not always get permitted to do what you want to do but at least you informed them. And I know that you know that your family is always right behind you, supporting you always, even without them saying so.

I was teary eyed while watching the movie. It captured all the moments in a man's life while he was still in college. The friendship, the mischief, the success, the failures, and every stupid and wonderful thing you have done while you were in college.

After watching the movie, it kinda gave me hope about where I would work. As long as I'll have fun, I have nothing to worry. Like Ranchos said, "Pursue excellence, success will follow, pants down."

Time of my life

I'm still overwhelmed by the feeling of barely passing the board exam. It was God at work at that time. And I'm having the time of my life!

Long before I took the board exams, I kinda imagined myself talking to the crowd as I became the number 1 draft in the 2010 selection. Wanna know what I mean? You can read it here. That's how confident I was at that time. Unfortunately, I didn't have the talent to match that confidence.

But, wth, I passed! That's what's important, right? And I couldn't ask for anything more than this. ^_^

I'm kinda enjoying the David Cook moment as of now. I hope this will keep on getting better. :D

Barely

I barely passed the board exams! The review center told us to just have a 50% rating for the design in order for us to pass because they were confident that we could nail math and hydraulics. And yes, I did.

Well, I barely passed. Does that mean I'm barely an engineer? LOL

The Real Star

"Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you."

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

"It is by grace that you are saved and not by your good works so that no one can boast."

These are my favorite passages as the board exams were nearing.

When I realized that my abilities were really not that great, I was holding on to the last passage. The preparation was hard. There were so many trials and temptations along the way. The worst was the frustration of not being able to cope up and understand the magnitude of the board exams.

I was taking everything lightly at the beginning. I studied for a maximum of three hours a day. Well, eight hours, actually, but I had in between snacks, lunches, dinners, watching tv, texting, and whathaveyou. I was so confident that I didn't want to study.

Then the pre-board exams came. That's when I realized that I really need lots more to work on. So, I upgraded to a five hour study session. This time, a full five hours of undisturbed studying. I even secluded myself from the internet just so I can concentrate and not get distracted by the colors of the web.

All that hard work and perseverance paid off, yes, but I also need not forget to mention that this was all part of the greater plan that God has prepared for me. I've been holding on to the 2nd passage from the first time I was introduced to it. I was 17. The good plans the Lord has for me were more enticing than whatever temptation came my way. That really strengthened my faith more. And look where it brought me.

The day of judgment for all civil engineering students came, and Ale asked for a group prayer one last time before we go to battle. The prayer I shared came from the 1st passage mentioned above. But before that, I asked the Lord that He may speak through me and that the message will be more accepted. Well, his plans has no flaws.

We asked to pass the board exams and we did. We sought to glorify him in ways that we can and we are doing it and will be doing it for the rest of our lives. We knocked into his heart that he may grant our wishes, get them, turn them his own, and ask God for it so that we will not be disappointed and here we are, civil engineers of the new generation.

It was a long ride getting here, but we're still buckling up for the next ride is coming. Changes has come though. Because of the real star, we have now ENGR. right before our very names.

I am now an Engineer

It was 11 years ago when I dreamed about becoming a Civil Engineer. What I really wanted was just to build buildings, houses, and anything that's standing where anyone can live in. The first step I took was to become better in math. Unfortunately my ability was just so-so.

But it didn't stop me from pursuing my dream. Well, in all honesty, I almost did. My second year in high school wasn't really one I cherish. My grades in all the three quarters were, 73, 73, and 74. I thought that I wouldn't be able to make it. But with perseverance and a lot of prayers, my fourth quarter's grade was 75. It wasn't what I really wanted but it was what I needed.

As I breezed through the first 2 years of college, I already saw myself having an Engr. before my name. However, when I entered the third year, I thought, "Hey, this isn't what I signed up for!" It was just too tough, man! Still, I pushed through.

It wasn't a smooth road for me as I went along college. I failed a couple of times, I lost the elections, I got thrashed, and I wasn't able to attend the March 2010 Commencement Rites due to the delay of the thesis.

So much had happened. Blood, sweat, and tears were shed, and yet, here I am. Amidst all the pains and suffering, here I am.

It was most thrilling right after I took the board exams. I wasn't able to sleep well because I was waiting for the results. Three days after, at 8:00 P.M. the results were out. I was shaking as I scrolled down. I got to D then scrolled back up slowly, and then..

There it was: 290 BENIGAY, ELDDIE JOHN LATORRE. I am now an engineer and I thank God above all for this blessing. I thank all my family and friends who were there to support me and prayed for me.

And most of all, "Hey, Santa! Thank you for granting me this wish! Now I will surely have a merry Christmas!"

http://www.coolbuster.net/2010/10/civil-engineer-november-2010.html

Update

Hey there! I just had my board exams last Saturday and Sunday. It's been three days and yet the results aren't out yet. This is making all of us crazy.

Anyway, I had nothing to do today so I watched 8 episodes of the 8th season of Two and a Half Men. I also uploaded some very late pictures and videos from more than a month ago.

I restrained myself from the internet so that I could focus on my studies. I hope that little sacrifice pays off.

Mustard Seed

This morning, as I woke up, I was overcame with determination to do my best on the upcoming Board Exams this November. I was like, no Facebook, no Twitter, no YouTube, basically no internet for that matter. I also told myself to stay away from Glee, Two and a Half Men, and The Big Bang Theory.

Pure ISOLATION.

Then I prayed that God will bless my plans so that I will be able to successfully carry them out. I asked the Holy Spirit for guidance that I will be in my tip top shape on November.

Fortunately, God heard my prayer today. Almost instantly.

We heard mass today in the Redemptorist Church and the gospel was about Faith. One of my favorite lines in the Bible is, "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’" The other was about telling a mountain to move from its current postion. It's just so amazing how faith can do. But we human beings can only have such faith whenever we need it. It's sad, but it's the reality.

My faith was renewed. I was refreshed. The Lord wanted the best for me and since he's seen my determination that I would really do my best for Him, he's helping me to achieve it.

I could still write on about the frustrations and disappointments about my relationship with Apple, towards my friends, and to my family, but would it matter? I guess not. What matters is how I get up from this pains.

Trust me, getting up hurts. It's like a wounded knee that's being stretched from standing up.

But with faith in Jesus, I know no pains.

The priest said that the meaning of faith is not being reliant to one's self. He's right. Man cannot live alone. He needs the company of another human being in order to live, love, and hope.

Right now, since Jesus once again is knocking on my three-fourths closed heart, I'm gonna open it for him and let him handle me.

I'm gonna continue to do my best, but this time, Jesus is with me.

PRC

Hana just gave me a text message that they will be going to PRC and file whatever needs to be filed in order to take the board exams. Good for them!

While as for me, I'm still waiting for the most wanted person that is Engr. Nestor Sy. He doesn't seem to care! We have been waiting for almost two weeks now for his approval or signature so that we will be able to change our grades and therefore acquire our TOR.

I am here now studying Geotechnical Engineering when Hana gave me the text.

Problems just keep on coming, don't they? Well let them come!

By the way, I want to give Apple a text message to check how she's doing. I can't. Damn!

Comedy

You know why I love comedy among all movie genres? It's because I just forget all about my problems momentarily and just laugh my heart out. It's really good medicine for a person like me who always keeps his problems in his heart.

Actually, my heart feels really, really, really, REALLY heavy right now. So if I die one of this days, you may want to consider the weight of my heart instead of some illness.

After watching each comedy movie, the problems become to sink in. Just like the waves of the sea that come crashing down on the rocks whenever there is a storm.

We all have problems, yes, but I take everything into heart. You see me as a happy person in general, but inside I'm having a battle with myself.

My biggest problem as of the moment is whether or not to take the board exams this November. Mom has been scolding me again since I've been too lax lately; watching movies and stuff. I then thought of my actions. There are consequences but I just wanna forget all of those.

I am not a drinker that is why I indulge in watching movies; getting in the character, travelling the world while comfortably sitting on the sofa, laugh like there is no tomorrow, and just sitting there thinking of nothing but having fun.

I also am the type where even if I am the one whose back is already against the wall I still cheer people up. I don't want anyone in my surroundings to feel bad, you know. Even if I don't like the person, I always do my best to strike conversation. I don't want to build grudge in my heart and I've managed to make it into another feeling. That feeling is making my heart heavy.

Just a few minutes ago, Apple once again gave me a message regarding our relationship. She's having a hard time. While I really don't care about what other people say about me, she, on the other hand, does. She just cares so much about other people that she even doesn't know what will make her happy anymore.

Am I just rambling? I'm talking rubbish, aren't I?

That is just what I'm feeling right now. All mixed up about the not so trivial things in life.

Goddess of Hearth

It was a magical night. It was a night where I witnessed a girl who transformed into a beautiful young lady. Just like a butterfly coming out from its cocoon, so did Eudelyn Faye became one of the more stunning ladies that I've known personally.

The night didn't really start well for her. She was crying as she arrived in the venue. The ceremony was about an hour delayed. She arrived late.

But that didn't mean that the night would continue to be not good. It was amazing. As she went out of the room, all eyes were on her as she strode through the crowd going to the stage.

As usual, she was still her old self. Her boyish self that everyone learned to love.

The 18 roses were done alongside the 18 candles. A routine that was kinda new to me since what I know was that the roses and the candles were done separately. Anyway, everybody had fun. The boys and a few men danced with the debutant. I was expecting some drama, but Eudz just kept on smiling. The ladies, meanwhile, gave funny, encouraging, and unexpected messages to the celebrant. A few close friends gave away some secrets that was a bit funny and awkward at the same time. I winced with every untold story that they told about her. But I thought, "real friends are always brutally honest." And they went for the jugular for every time they talked. :))

The 18 treasures came. I was one of them. I wasn't prepared with what I will say to her. I wasn't able to get a chance to know her better. I wasn't able to invite her out to lunch. I wasn't able to exchange text messages with her very often. I wasn't able to talk to her on the phone for hours. But I was able to send the message to her that actually came from my heart.

Hey, Eudelyn Faye! First of all, I would like to say that you look so stunning tonight. I've never seen anyone so beautiful!

(Talking to audience) I asked her about what she wanted for her birthday because I don't really know what to give her. I thought of giving her a watch because a watch gives time; and as long as there is time, so will I be there for her. I thought of giving her a book, but she told me that she easily gets bored. So I decided to give her this (raising gift bag).

(Talking to Eudz)This gift gives messages from the Bible. There are cards here that you will pick out everyday. May this gift always make you remember that God is always there for you, we are here for you, and I will always be here for you.

Happy Birthday!

I wanted to give her a kiss but I couldn't fathom the reason why I couldn't. Up until now, I still don't know why.

I also wanted to give more words of encouragement but I guess that saying it once wouldn't really help. I mean, she can't remember everything, right? :>

So, I hope and I pray that she will continue to blossom and become the wonderful lady that God wanted of her.

Happy Birthday, my dear! :)

Wired

[a repost]

Last week was all sorts of amazing. It didn't really start well, but believe me when I say that it ended like how every festival ends - with a bang!

Well, Apple broke up with me for reasons that she was the only one who knew. I didn't bother to ask though. I was crippled with that thing she had done, if you know what I mean. That was the first time that I was being dumped by a girl, too. I did the dumping the last time, so..

During the Miss Universe last Tuesday, I was kinda kidding when I gave her the message, "When the rain pours, I'll be coming over to your boarding house." And she was like, "Okay, you can come over if you want to."

So the rain didn't really pour but I still came over. We were just there watching the big event and talking and laughing with Jinky and the other girl as if nothing happened. It kinda felt awkward. After Miss Mexico was crowned, she stood up, water, and hugged me. I felt like crying. We talked or cuddled the entire afternoon after that.

The next day, I got sick. I think I got it from Hana. She had cough then. And I think the rain also participated in my sickness. I thought I had a strong immune system! Mehn! Although I was sick, we still managed to make the final revisions of the thesis. Thank God it's over!

But we still need the panelists to approve it. Until then, we're still not off the hook.

I wasn't able to go to review classes on Thursday because my head still hurt.

We had our exams on Friday and I thought that my head's gonna be fine then. But no! Every time I crouch to write or read the paper, my head started to hurt. I didn't do well in that exam. Sheesh, talk about making it to the Top 10 on the Board Exams!

But that day wasn't so bad, in fact, it was one of the greatest! I spent the entire afternoon with Apple. We had lunch, went to SM, and to Wired.

I was so glad that she went with me during that event. It was Wired's first anniversary, so that makes it all the more special.

The energy was off the charts, the crew was filled with the Spirit, and the entire community was just nuts about Jesus! It was so fun. And calling it fun is even an understatement!

To cap the week, the gang and I went to Simala to say our prayers. I was with Hana, Aure, Joen, Earic, Arco, Bobets, Elmer, Christian, and Benjie.

The prayer was mostly about passing or topping the board exams. Well, at least, that was mine.

I also bought me some stuff.

I bought two prayer cards; A Student's Prayer and Prayer Before Exams. I also bought a Jesus figurine in a plate or whatever you call it. :D

Of rising up and uprising

The Philippines has a new president. Yay! He nearly changed the red-blue-white-yellow banner with a pure yellow one. Everybody just loves the guy.

The slogan was Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap (If no one's corrupt, no one will live in poverty anymore). Or something like that. =o='

Many o'them has already given promise to bring the Philippines to the top. We had our glory days back in the day. We were literally at the top. *Sigh* I mean we almost beat the NBA to a pulp. The NBA isn't the only gauge though. There're plenty, but anyway...

I was observing the behavior patterns of the people in the city one day. It wasn't the psychology type of thing, just the ordinary kinda thing.

Looking at their eyes, I can say that they are really having a hard time with their lives. (I'm blessed and thankful to have a good life!) They are just living the Philippine Dream - Work, earn money, eat three times a day. No dreams, no hope, whatsoever.

These people are from the middle to the lower class. These are the people who think that P-Noy will be able to change the way they are living. These people are the ones whom P-Noy gave hope to. And these people aren't doing anything to help themselves. Like WTH!

All of the Filipinos had their spirits off the charts when we ousted Erap and put GMA on the spot. A year later, a coup was plotted and almost went all the way. A couple more years, hundreds of rallies were initiated. And at the end of her term, hundreds more people watched her gave her thrown to P-Noy. Yes, the Filipinos were there, no clapping, no praises, just there watching.

One thing that's common to all Filipinos is that we are all LAZY. Most of us just sit back, relax, and wait for opportunities to knock on our doorsteps. BUT, one thing that's common also to all of us is that when that opportunities come to us, we hold on until our dreams of living a good life is fulfilled.

Here we are again. P-Noy is has been on the spot for over a month and, yes, he is charging his way to change the Philippines. I have high hopes for the guy. (I voted for Gordon though. He should have won, and.. oh well!) But we have got to do our part also. We should help the guy change what is needed to be changed. We shouldn't tolerate mistakes. We should stop the insanity that the government has.

What scares me though is that P-Noy might be like the ordinary college student. At the start of the term, they all get excited; aiming for the top and all. Midterms come and after seeing their grades which aren't so good even though they have done their best, they start to lower their standards. Pre-finals come and they are already losing the habit of studying. Finals - they just aim for the passing grade. They may also be thinking of telling their parents beforehand that even though they did their best that term, they just couldn't make it.

I hope P-Noy will be able to get help from all Filipinos in all of the land to make the Philippines rise up from the ruble that we are in. In this manner, no uprising will occur.

God bless the Philippines!

A better birthday

It was a week long celebration. Accidentally started last Sunday and ended with a bang yesterday.

From a short vacation in Masbate, we headed to Manila for the awarding ceremony for the good deeds Dad has done in the province. We arrived on Sunday and dropped the things off in Camp Crame and immediately shopped for stuff in The Fort. Dad wanted a new pair of running shoes and I asked them if I could have one also. Fortunately, my wish was granted. They bought me a pair of Addidas. It was an expensively comfortable and beautiful pair. It cost them 7k. That's a lot for a pair of shoes. After which, they bought more stuff for them and we ate somewhere. (I forgot the name of the resto.)

I went back to Cebu later in the evening because I had review classes the next day. That day was also Apple Jean's birthday. It was her 21st. You can read what transpired on that day here.

Tuesday was the day where Dad got his award. Her Excellency, Gloria Arroyo herself, gave him the award. It would have been nice if I was there watching.

I was planning the things that I wanted to do for the rest of the week already. Until the day when Mom told that they will come home for my birthday. I didn't expect that since they had planned to come back home on July. I had to adjust some things.

Initially, I was thinking of a semi romantic date with Apple Jean on Friday before she goes to work. Then Saturday is the day where all my friends and me would go outing somewhere. And Sunday, a movie with Apple Jean. All but the outing with friends didn't come to fruition. The rest of the family arrived on Thursday morning and had to cancel all my dates with her. Of course, I didn't tell her what I would do. I would like to surprise her, you know. ^_^

Friday, we heard mass in St. Therese and ate at Pino resto. Later in the evening, after dinner, we had karaoke with my dad and brother. There was no mic yet so we had to sing our lungs out.

Saturday, right after the review classes, we headed to EMall and bought some stuff for the pool party. Tubod Flowing Waters was actually quite nice. We arrived at around 1 P.M., dropped Neil, Andrew, Joen, Elmer, Rey, and Christian off first as me, Hana, and Alphy went on to buy food.

We bought Lechon Baboy and Manok. We also went to Hana's house to get the camote and nilung-ag na saging that was sponsored by her mom. We also brought water from there.

It was a fun fun day. I was very grateful to Hana because she didn't tire driving for us. Her birthday is coming up, too! It'll be on the 24th.

We left around 6:30 P.M. smiling and stuffed! We kept on eating since there were still plenty left to eat. I told Hana that she would just drop us off where it'll be convenient for us to look for and ride the jeepney. To my surprise, she told us that she would just drop us off in Ayala. She's very kind. Glad that she's my best friend! :D

I met my family in The Terraces, Ayala and had dinner. We also bought 2 microphones.

This is the only birthday where I didn't have any celebration that involved lots of food and catering. It was purely good family and friends and lots of love. This is one for the books and I think the better birthday for me.

And btw, before we left for Masbate from Cebu, Mom bought me a Levi's jeans worth 2k++. What's not to love?

Things I couldn't say yet

Yesterday was her birthday. I didn't really have the intention of giving her anything because, if you read one of my previous posts, I'm broke. As of Sunday, I wasn't. But it didn't mean that I will buy her a gift 'coz I didn't have anything in mind for her. I was at a complete blank.

But if there was one thing I did, I was there for her. Actually, she is the first girl whom I went out with on her birthday. I was invited for many, but she's the first.

I would like to remember all these in detail because I really have poor memory. So this is what happened:

I gave her a text message that we were already dismissed from our review schooling. She told me initially that we would eat at Chowking. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't familiar with Colon St. So I told her that she'd come pick me up. She told me to wait up 15 mins. and I did.

Then when time was almost up, I went outside to see if she was already around. No sightings of her yet. After a while, my phone rang. It was her. I immediately looked around if she was there somewhere just looking at me. "Where are you?" She asked. "I'm still here just outside the review center," I replied. Well, she told me that Chowking was just in the next block. I told her my exact location and she gave me instructions on how to reach Chowking. Amazingly, it was just around the corner. Probably around 120m away from the review center.

I arrived first. I waited for her to arrive. When she went in, I stood up from my sit and wanted to assist her in ordering for food when she said,"Wait, my friends are here. I'll introduce them to you later." I was like, "Wha--??"

I was liked being crossed by Iverson. She took my game plan off. I was like the triangle offense being read like a book. Man!

But I just smiled. What was I going to say? I'm the type of guy who plans all his moves before making it. I looked at them and analyzed them. Like an eagle looking for its prey. I was going for the jugular. I smelled blood. Unfortunately, it was my blood. Boo!

She brought 4 friends with her; Jen, Jei, Eryll, and I-forgot-her-name. OMG! While in the table, I did my best to converse with Eryll and her ate. These two girls, btw, are the sister of Jei. I really did my best to talk with them. I asked questions, I got answers. I talked about something, the respond. Period. I mean, what is up with that? LOL

The orders were complete and we started eating. Jei, Jen, and here are call center agents, so the whole time we were eating, it was just them talking about what-have-yous in the call center industry. Eryll, her ate, and I were just there eating, listening, and casually smiling/smirking/laughing about what they were talking about. She constantly was asking if I was doing okay. Of course I was.

During the meal, I received a text message. It was from her. I really didn't get the message and I was wondering why she gave me an sms when were very near to each other. Hmm. I just let it pass.

After the meal, the four of them went to the restroom to probably clean up. We were left alone in the table. Then I asked her why she gave me the text message and what it was all about. She said that she just replied to the sms that I gave her. I was like, "I was sure that I didn't give her a text message when we both were in the building." She opened her inbox and let me read the message I gave her.

I wanted to die.

The message I sent to her wasn't meant for her but for my friend. The text message was I thought this was a date. The message was intended to inform my friend that what he thought was a date between me and her turned out to be something else, in this case, a barkada eat out or something.

Her reply was Sige lang, at least you get to meet my friends. That was really okay. What bothered me was I sent a message to the wrong person. THAT WAS A FIRST TIME!

Anyway, after the meal, we went to EMall and did some videoke. We sang 10 songs; I got 2, she got 2, and the rest belonged to Jei and Jen. While she was singing Jei and Jen told me that I was the only person who made her sing. Based on what they said, I thought that maybe during their outings that involved singing, she's the photographer or she was doing something else.

She sang Ocean Deep and 'Til My Heartache Ends. I picked both songs for her. The latter was some kinda mistake. The message was somehow.. hmm.. Google it. :D

After the videoke session, we went to McDonald's and had fries and coke float. She and Jei kept on blabbering about work is tiring and they need rest and they lack sleep. I encouraged them to just keep on going since they told me that it's gonna be their last two weeks and they'll get back to focusing on their academic life. Well, I guess I reached them.

I told them to sleep for an hour or so before they go to work. So just about past 3 in the afternoon, we went straight to their boarding house. I went with them in order to know the location of the place they're staying. I told her that I might surprise her or something.

Inside, we got to talk a little. Time was limited because she had to rest. After which, I greeted her a Happy birthday, hugged and kissed her, and went home.

During the course of the activities, there were two things that bothered me. One was I wanted to hold her hand and second, I wanted to tell her what I'm feeling when I'm with her. I just couldn't do both. I feel like I'd be cheating on her if I did that.

Let's face it, she just came from a break-up. I know that she doesn't want a relationship yet. And I'm quite satisfied with the things as they are now.

But here's where things get complicated. Just like the J Brazil's Girl I'm Trying, we say we're friends but friends don't call twenty times a day. It isn't really like calling twenty times a day but the equivalent. We text almost non stop and when the occasional talks on the phone happen, we do it with an average of 2 hours.

I also love to kiss her. I kiss her every time I get the chance! I could kiss her anywhere but the lips. I have this standing principle about that. I think I've already blogged about it.

We are really very close now. I think I've known her since forever even though we had been communicating only since February of this year. And I think she knows a lot about me now, too. But still, there are things that I just couldn't say yet. Things that might change the course of our lives forever.

But I told myself to be patient. I know we could get through this. I just have to believe in her and what we are having right now. I also have to keep my hopes up that she does the same.

My birthday's in 3 days and if I was the Elddie John way back when, my wish would be to have Apple Jean in my arms.

Nature Calls

[a repost]

I have seen the documentary of the famous AL GORE. I was struck by the fact that most, if not all, people in the world don’t care about the earth. There was this clip about a certain ice berg somewhere here on earth (i completely forgot the places) that was supposed to be intact in the next 10, 10 000 years (i also forgot the figures but its somewhere there). I was completely flabbergasted when the scientists, who said the things i mentioned above, reported that in a period of over thirty days, the ice beg melted (then again, i forgot the area (in sq. m) that melted).

There were so many unbelievable clips, videos, figures, and predictions in that documentation. Al Gore travelled the whole world to preach this sad fact. Today, many people are doing something to change this dismal series of events. Companies are helping to end this crisis by reducing the pollutants that they produce. The local people are now recycling and minimizing the burning of non-biodegradable trash.

We are slowly going back to the old earth we had. Slowly… Very slowly but surely.

A very intelligent teacher of mine talks of certain events that may affect my life, his life, and all people’s lives. He once criticized the media for talking about nonsense things such as politics.

Politics really has become nonsense. It has been this and that ever since the Marcos regime ended. The blame of who has done wrong has never ended. C’mon! Marcos died a million years ago. Shouldn’t everything be back on track again by now? Anyway, we can never change the fact that until a very good and loving man becomes the leader of the whole country this place will still be the same as ever.

That teacher said that for a change the media must talk about what’s happening on earth. The media is a very powerful influence. The can encourage the people to reduce, reuse, and recycle. The can be a very big help if they only had their priorities right.

Well, in my case, I’m doing my best. In this little article, I hope that you guys out there may be encouraged. And help me spread the word to the world that we must reduce, reuse, and recycle. Think about the future. Think about our future family. Think about our future kids. It still may be a fantasy but it’s just around the corner.

problematic probs: getting over

problematic probs: getting over

.....

I basically have planned to blog lots of things but I just got too lazy. I don't even have the luxury of giving this post a decent name. I'll just say some things bullet style.

• Apple Jean has given me lots of things to look forward to. We are very good friends. I sometimes call our relationship status as "more than friends, less than lovers." I thought of asking her if what she will say if she's asked who am I to her. I'm still in denial. I'd very much like to hear her answer. But I thought, she's a lady and I think ladies fall a little less harder than men. Her birthday's in three days and I'm broke and as of today, I am not in Cebu. I have no idea what to give her. Wait, I've had no plans of giving her anything 'coz I'm broke.
• We're in Masbate right now. The only fun thing we've done so far was to go to Buntod, a sandbar. Unfortunately, it was low tide. I wasn't able to go swim far, too, because I'm scared. Yes, I don't know how to swim. Hold on, I think I know how to swim; what I don't know is how to float. It may sound ironic but that's just the way it is. I keep on thinking that I know how to swim but when I attempt to go, I become scared. I just can't figure out why. Maybe, when emergencies come, I might be able to do something about this fear. Ugh! Wait, I think what I'm scared of is not the sea itself but for my safety. What if I won't make it, who will be there to save me? Or something like that. Okay. I don't fear the sea. I just don't know how to swim.. far distances.. or float.
• In three days, review school is going to start and we haven't yet finished our thesis. We are doing our best and God help us, we will finish this by the end of June.
• And have I mentioned that I'm broke? I was broke since summer started. Pfft! Lazy bum!

Prom '05

There are parts that I couldn't quite remember. For instance the things I talked to Apple about. The time where she told me that I asked for a dance but when she was on the dance floor, I left her there.

WTF HAPPENED? WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER IT? FML!

Also, she told me that I gave her a bracelet. I guess I did, but I don't remember what the bracelet looked like.

Are there more things that I somehow erased from my memory during that time?

Looking at the picture here in my desk, I think I was the one who gave her the rose. But where on earth did I buy it?

What went wrong? I thought I liked her, why didn't I pursue her then? Why did I forget these things? Is it because of frustration? Is it because of the fear of rejection? Why?!

Whatever

Whatever might happen to me, please don't blame her.

Whatever might happen to her, I sure as hell don't want ya'll to blame me! :D

Woke Up Crying

I was a soldier. I had a tiny gun but with awesome power. It had a sniper, a very little sniper. It was so small that I had a hard time looking through it. The enemies were so far that they couldn't be seen by the naked eye. But when used the gun, I could see them. Since they are so far, I only see them as very small beings also.

Its power was incredible. It doesn't fire bullets, rather, it fires some sort of signal. The signal was, when I die, the ammo in front of me will fire straight to them. And it's no just some ammo, it was high powered ammo.

Okay, I may alter this dream a bit but I think those guys were the big fish and I was the last man standing in my army. I was the last hope, the hero to have these guys killed. Okay, that's it. Heh!

There were seven of them. Each of them has been locked except for one. When the left most guy was about to be locked, they discovered me. I don't know how but they just did.

I ran and boy, they are sprinters! They caught me up in no time.

We were in some open field with veggies on it. The cornered me. I turned around, dropped the gun, knelt, put my hands at the back of my head, and closed my eyes. I was prepared to die.

Two of them came near me. I slightly opened my eyes but can't see their faces because of the scorching sun. They mumbled things and laughed. They had high powered ammos, too. Those two killed me by putting bullet holes in my left and right chest.

Alas, my ammos took off! Six of them died except for one.

Apple Jean discovered that I died. The survivor of the seven was hiding somewhere in the veggies dressed like a civilian and was recording everything he saw.

I was a ghost already.

This part is somehow tricky.

Rommel Pareja was also there bringing with him a laptop. Apple Jean's friend saw the necklace with a pendant "A" and gave it to her; she smiled. She murmured to her friend that the guy back there was the one who killed me.

I'm guessing that Rommel can see me. I think we chatted. I think he's a ghost, too. 'Coz when Apple Jean sat to where Rommel was sitting, Rommel was possessed by Apple.

I cried. I told her that I love her and cried. And she said, "Never give up!"

I woke up with tears in my eyes.

this is a repost

We're getting to know each other

I call you
And you call me
It's funny how we get on so easily

I heard this song while we were going back home from Talisay. We were invited for a dinner. As I listened to the song, I somehow realized that the latest happenings of my life is reflected in this song. And Apple Jean is the biggest part of it.

We're just friends
Aren't we?
You've got yours
I've got mine
And friends are all we ever can be

It has been a while since I got this feeling. The feeling of being happy knowing that there is someone out there whom you can tell everything about anything.

We're getting to know each other
A little too well

It was around 5 years ago (as of this writing) that I met a girl that I never knew would affect my life this big. It was sad when I found out that she was somewhere and no one knows where that is. I was very lucky to have gotten in touch with her just this year.

We're starting to show our feelings
And people can tell(ooh, people can tell)

It was because of Facebook, Yahoo! Messenger, Smart Mobile, Sun Cellular that I was able to get in touch with her.

Every time that your eyes meet mine
I light up like a neon sign

After 5 years, 3 months, and 2 days, we got to see each other again. It was a mere 5 minute conversation but I guess, it was enough to cancel that longing I had just to see her again. And boy, I tell ya, she looked wonderful that night.

Yes, we're getting to know each other
A little too well

Even though, we just met after that long, there was no trace of awkwardness between us. Everything was natural. I guess, it's because we've been communicating with other a lot more than we are supposed to.

We have lunch every now and then
And I find myself humming love songs again and again

Whenever I think about her and me getting together, I get this feeling of inferiority. It's just that, she has been exposed to the real world already and I haven't. But is that supposed what I should be thinking? Well, actually, every time I think about her, energy just flows through my veins.

Oh, and too many nights
I'm workin' til ten

She now works in a call center. She's in the graveyard shift. I get stingy when I think about the time of her work. I think it's just not right. We have our own graveyard shift back in the days when she wasn't working.

And I hope that you know
That it's hopeless to go on when...

But I am in no absolute hurry. I am letting nature take its course. I will not make the same mistake of hurrying a relationship. I was able to wait for 5 long years, I might as well be able to wait 5 more if I want to get to know her better.

But we're getting to know each other
A little too well
(Getting to know each other
A little too well)
We're starting to show our feelings
And people can tell (ooh, people can tell)
Every time that your eyes meet mine
I light up lilke a neon sign
Yes, we're getting to know each other

And for the record, I hope I'm not the only one having these feelings.

A part of history

In 36 hours, drastic changes will come upon the Philippines. New leaders will be elected to direct and bring the Philippines to its heels from being down to its knees. Well, at least that's what I'm thinking of.

It will be my first time voting therefore, I will make sure that I will use my entire knowledge in electing for the new officers that will lead me, and my country.

Here is the list of my favored leaders:

President: Dick Gordon

VPresident: Bayani Fernando

Senators:

Bongbong Marcos

Risa Hontiveros

Adel Tamano

Gilbert Remulla

Pia Cayetano

Miriam Santiago

Johnny Enrile

Alex Lacson

Danny Lim

Serge Osmeña

Frank Drilon

Roco, Sonia

Party-List: A Teacher

Member (House of Reps): Ashley Acedillo

Mayor: Mike Rama

VMayor: Joy Young

Board Members:

Nida Cabrera

Alvin Dizon

Fritz Quiñanola

Kap Garganera

Jerry Guardo

Raymond Garcia

James Ang

Edgar Labella

There you have it folks. These are my top bets for this Monday's election.

I will just keep in mind that it's not these people who will "win" but the Philippines.

This is one big step for all Filipinos all over the world and it's up to the winners how they will show the respect the Philippines deserve.

GOD BLESS THE PHILIPPINES!

49 Sweetest Things To Do With Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

1. Back rubs/massages.

2. French Kiss.

3. Whisper to each other.

4. Skinny dip.

5. Hold hands.

6. Buy gifts for each other.

7. Roses.

8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you’re together.

9. Kiss at every chance you get.

10. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, then whisper I love you.

11. Hugs are the universal medicine.

12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.

13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.

14. Tell her that she’s the only girl you ever want. Don’t lie.

15. Spend every second possible together.

16. Tell her that she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to. And mean it.

17. Look into each other’s eyes.

18. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.

19. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.

20. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren’t looking.

21. Buy her a ring.

22. PDA = Public Display of Affection.

23. Take advantage of any time alone together.

24. Tell her about how you answered every question in math with her name.

25. Let her sit on your lap.

26. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and fingers, and cheeks, and collarbones, and hands, and ears.

27. Always hold her around her hips/sides.

28. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.

29. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you aren’t close enough.

30. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.

31. Break every one of your parent’s relationship rules for them.

32. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes.

33. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.

34. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.

35. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few hours.

36. Ride home and call them.

37. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.

38. Brush her hair out of her face for her.

39. Hang out with his/her friends.

40. Learn from each other and don’t make the same mistake twice.

41. Everyone deserves a second chance.

42. Make sacrifices for each other.

43. Really love each other, or don’t stay together.

44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren’t thinking about them, and make sure they know it.

45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.

46. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.

47. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.

48. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.

49. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, “Sweet dreams.”

Amazing Sun

I was watching Whose Line Is It Anyway with my brother after our midday meal. After which, he took a bath and I was browsing over some sites here. I checked my Facebook account and updated my status.

Most of my friends had the same status; they were talking about the sun. I didn't mind it at first but when they already uploaded pictures, I had to see it for myself.

There it was. The magnificent sun surrounded by a colorful ring. I took a photo of it for keepsake.

This is my status on Facebook right after I saw this:

finally! another way to look at the recent days. God is sending the Philippines a message: not to fight over politics and to just look at how wonderful he created the world. He says, "Look at the sun, I'm making it fun for all of you to see!" NICE! :D

Well, you see, these past few days has been restless for most Filipinos. In 3 days, all of us will be voting for the next national and local leaders. And I thought, God showed us a part of his fun side.

I mean, this was impulse. This is what I felt right after I saw the shining, shimmering sun with its marvelous halo. I immediately put into words what I felt and there you go.

Despite all the good and more bad things that happened here that is related to the elections, God still loves us. Look, he showed some magic today!

Actually, I also thought that the halo is like a magnifying glass and the sun is God's eye. GOD IS WATCHING US YA KNOW! It's just today that's he's letting us see that he's watching us. LOL!

My First Comic Books

Ever since I was introduced to The Big Bang Theory by my good friend Rey, I was thinking of becoming a comic book aficionado. I was looking for some good comic book stores here in the city for a couple of weeks and I found one today. A really good one. They had their comic books on sale! One original costs only Php 50.00. Now isn't that nice.

I was browsing randomly and picked these two.

I was thinking of maybe buying more since it was on sale, but I figured that I might be bored easily. So this'll probably be a weekly hobby for me. It might not be on sale next week anymore, but what the heck!

Oh, and but the way, the store's name is NEWS FLASH and is located in Ayala Center Cebu.

This hobby is supposed to be during childhood days. It's not yet too late, right? Heh!

Still in Chains

It has been a month since school life was over. I finished my Bachelor's Degree without any bang. Not even a thud or thump or whatever you call it. It was a point in my life where I was torn if I would be happy that I already graduated or sad that I wasn't able to glide through the stage of success called the Commencement Rites. It isn't a complicated story actually.

Final year, final semester in college and I blew it by not accomplishing one important part - thesis. Damnit. Each time I think about it, I get pissed off. You know why? Wanna know why? Because I was stupid, naive, and and idiot. Why, you knew that of course! Duh!

Sometimes I curse Facebook. I think it was the bigger reason as to why I am like this now. Well, not Facebook per se, but my addiction to it. Ugh! I know you know the feeling. Now, because of Facebook, I see a lot of my friends going on and about their vacations here, vacations there, vacations everywhere! It's like I'm being punished by the same reason why I failed. What irony!

And worse of all, I cannot go ask my parents about me going somewhere with friends without asking money. That's the embarrassing part. I feel like I'm still in chains. I feel like a leashed dog. I cannot basically complain about everything because they have something that's backing them up- my failure.

Now, I'm thinking about finishing the thesis once and for all. Yes, I've been thinking about it. I've only been thinking about it. I haven't done anything significant yet, really.

I'm lazy. And it's increasing exponentially. God save my soul!

Under my skin

I have less to say about you. Really. It's just that every time we talk, you just get under my skin! You talk less. It's like.. I don't know..

I don't know what to say :/

Headphones

My headphones are somehow broken, but it still works though. My sister kept on using it; I don't know how on earth she handles things. Nothing lasts!

Anyway, I'm at the 11th episode of the third season of The Big Bang Theory and, boy, I am having the time of my life! The second episode of the same season is my favorite among all TV series in all of the earth. It was just freakin' hilarious! heh

I still lack sleep T_T hafta sleep.. hafta

Weird Dreams

I had a very weird dream last night. Well, I've been having weird dreams the past few nights. There was one which was also weird but I cannot somehow recall it. I just have a feeling that it was weird though.

I dreamt that I died. I drowned (I think). I don't remember much of the details since it happened about a week ago. I don't even remember the reason why I wasn't able to write about that dream.

Last night I had two dreams: I became immortal and I was jogging/running in a place where I don't know what it was.

I've become a fan of the Full Metal Alchemist manga. It's a story about a boy who lost his right arm, left leg, and the soul of his brother due to his recklessness; he failed to revive their mother. In the story, they had enemies that were called Homunculus. They were beings made out of the souls of many people. They were immortal unless killed for so many times. Their names were derived from the 7 Deadly Sins: Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Greed. My dream included Lust. I was dying. I came to one of them in order to somehow let them share their life on me. I was able to trick Lust and I got her Sorcerer's Stone and inserted it on my body; a hole just above my buttcrack.

My body regained it's original form. When the Sorcerer's Stone was inserted, there was a tingling feeling, especially on my left knee. I was happy. I told dad about it and he was also happy. Scribblings were left on my knee saying something that it was completely healed. But I also realized that I have become immortal. It worried me so much because I will be watching all my loved ones die and I'll be left alone with no one to love.

The dream went on. I visited my high school. I saw my classmates but they were much younger than me. They didn't know me but I knew them. They thought I was weird until I let them see the pictures I had in my wallet. They were surprised. Then I toured the world. I got scholarship grants. I became a pilot. I was 22 all the time.

In the next dream, I was running like crazy. I think this is because I watched Narnia: Prince Caspian before I slept; there was a lot of chasing scenes. In the dream, I was with around 6 people. I am not sure who they were but we were together. There was no prize to win but we had a mental competition as to who will get to the finish line first. We ran in a large field, a camp of police officers, and another large field. We did that for 3 days.

I think that those second dream was a continuation of the first. I mean, I had my left knee healed so maybe that was why I was able to run that course.

I must read this again and somehow interpret it on my own. But I would be very grateful if somebody out there will stumble upon this blog and help me interpret it.

In a Rush

This is a quick post caused by dizziness from drinking beer and by a fruit. :D

I drank beer early this evening so that I may have a good night sleep. Last night wasn't really a good night because my good sister added Espresso to the coffee that she ordered me. Basically, it rendered me restless and I wasn't able to sleep properly. I laid down at 3:30 am. Muscled my way to doze off to no avail.

The coffee caused my stomach to feel funny. Since coffee is known to be a very good cleaner of the stomach. Well, it is. The reaction just didn't have the perfect timing. I kept on waking up the entire time I tried to sleep. Funny, isn't it?

At around 10 in the morning, I psyched myself up that I would just sleep early today to regain what has been lost in my body- right body clock and rest.

On another note, when I was taking a bath a few days back, the song that played here in the house, as far as I can remember, were Please Forgive Me and Beautiful Girl. It was so timely since I was thinking about one girl. She's like a fruit by the way, if you know what I mean.

That was the time when I wasn't hearing anything from her for a week. Apparently, she still had some issues with her ex-boyfriend. She's still confused because of her feelings. I am one of the reasons why she's not feeling good about it. But why am I feeling good about it? heh

The Proud Parent

His kids just graduated from High School and Elementary. They are splendid kids. Each excelling in the fields of music, leadership, and academics. Tina had 6 medals and Yami had 4. And both were bubbly, too.

I really saw my Godfather beam with pride as we entered his house early this evening; or shall I say, yesterday evening. You can feel the aura of success over-flowing inside the house. Both of my godparents have become bubbly to the point that Daddy C showed off to his guests by calling out Yami and Tina to play the violin to them.

Immanuel A. Martinez

"Well, lucky us!" They continuously told me in a sarcastic manner. They weren't exactly happy. I'm not sure why but I think it's because they grew tired of always playing the instrument whenever there is an occasion in the house. They told me they were scared of Daddy C since the last time they didn't do good, they were whacked with the violin. hah!

I still encouraged them to play though. It was good but for him, it wasn't good enough. He was frustrated. The kids grew scared even more. So me and my sister just talked to them. We went through various topics as school, music, and horror films. Yami was so nervous, he got leaves from outside the house and cut it as we were talking. He was sweating profusely, too.

Christina A. Martinez

I cannot blame Daddy C if he was frustrated. He was all high and mighty to his guests about the talent of the kids and yet they didn't do so well. At least for him. But the guests were quite entertained as far as I'm concerned.

Whether the kids did good or not depends on the listener but for Tina and Yami, they thought that it was a pretty good show. I thought it was a pretty good show. Daddy C was the only one not satisfied with it. Nevertheless, he was still proud about the accomplishments his kids had.

CONGRATS TINA AND YAMI!!

The Old-Fashion Way

I read over SunStar's Entertainment section about how John Cusack makes friends. He does it the old-fashioned way. I practically do the same thing. Bump into someone, say hi, talk over coffee, exchanging numbers, and the like. Although, I miss out on the talk-over-coffee thing. I don't have the pockets for this kind of stuff. lol

He said that talking to friends via email or text messaging makes him bored. He is not that entirely sure that the friend he is talking to is really the person he wanted to talk to. He was kidding, of course. I guess he is the type of person who really treasures people. He is there to mingle, to just have fun with the friends he knows... and sees.

Making friends over the internet is not that bad at all. It somehow widens the circle that we currently have. And it is somehow ironic. You have 500 friends on Facebook, 300 followers on Twitter, and 400 buddies on MySpace, but in reality, you have only around 100 real friends. Friends whom you can really talk to in times of fun and whom you can talk to less when you are in trouble. The irony!


But those are true friends. And that is what John Cusack wants in a relationship-- real ones.


Someday, when I have the budget, I'll ask my buddies out for a stroll, or over coffee, or something. Nothing can replace the moments you have with those close to you.

The Pudding Guy | Futility Closet

The Pudding Guy |
Futility Closet

Wasn't he just the luckiest guy? LOL

I wonder what he's feeling after taking all those flights. He probably might get used to the sensations above land than being on land. Heck, he might even get car-lagged just by travelling from his home to his office. hahaha

I wish I was this guy. Even for just 5 flights XD

Good Friday

This year's Good Friday was kinda boring. The only thing that kept from completely doing nothing was the internet. My eyes were totally locked on to Lappie the entire day. From Facebook-ing to Multiply-ing to Blogger-ing to YouTube-ing to downloading stuff to watching/reading the downloaded stuff. And reading blogs all over what I may stumble on.

The one thing that fascinated me, well the thing is a person, was a former high school classmate and a friend, Darliza. She's a freelance writer. I can't say much about her but one thing's for sure, I like everything that she writes. Well, not everything but pretty much every... thing. Darn.

Anyway, this day was very much unlike last year's. I was hoping that today would be another good Good Friday. Since fate didn't give me that (I injured my knee last Saturday again), me and my family were much like bums. We stayed at the comforts of our home doing what we thought was right for the moment- nothing. We woke up, ate, cleaned, ironed (mom did that), and internet. Internet, to me, has already become a verb. Psh

We prayed the rosary at the time the Christ died, which was at 3 pm. Something was lacking during that prayer time. Something was not right. I didn't feel any holiness rush through my veins. Believe me, when I pray, and pray sincerely, it just feels like I am cleansed every time. And nope, it didn't happen today.

So after 7 hours we had our dinner at McDonald's. We had our lunch at around 2 pm. Okay, so it's not dinner. It's, hmm, near-midnight snacks. lol




I think this is my first time digging in to a BigMac. So I took a photo. It looks totally different from the picture. And yeah, why do all the meals from any fast food chain don't look like the ones they show on their posters? It looks a lot smaller. It lacked juice, or air, or the feeling of drooling-over-posters when it is there in front of you.

This Good Friday may not have been as good as last year's but still, it's all good. :D

Holy Week

Okay. So I was scared.

I was browsing over the internet about the original sins. Then I came across the mortal and deadly sins. I looked at the deadly sins and it says there are seven that we MUST avoid. These are lust, gluttony, greed, wrath, pride, envy, and sloth.

Well at first, these weren't quite scary. What scared me was the details as to how this sins were described.

Alright, starting this point on, I will be writing what has been committed to memory late this afternoon. I must not cheat so as not to have my thoughts get biased if I will browse over the content from the internet.

Uhmm how should I put this. I know for a fact the masturbation is a sin. And I also know that, man as I am, I can't control myself. I watch porn, I indulge in very immoral thoughts, and I lust for women. I, myself, have not gotten to any sexual intercourse. I would not want to somehow put salt to the injury I have inflicted myself.

Porn has somehow, hmmm, excited and made my mind more creative. Well, the positions and how you do the foreplay to.. getting back to the original discussion. I was totally surprised when I learned that oral whatnots during sexual intercourse is a big no-no. I mean I enjoy watching those ladies do that to.. well.. Anal sex is also a HUGE no-no. Then again, I do enjoy the screams of.. My goodness!

Yes, yes. I keep on saying that I will do my best to stop those immoral acts. I admit, I have been trying and failing and trying and failing. It's an endless cycle of me failing to try and do my best to just stop all this craziness I've been doing.

Aside from all things related to sex, what also surprised me are these things:
.despair
.feeling sorry for one's self
.apathy; I've known this for quite a while but it still surprises me
.and what the book of Proverbs wrote
A proud look
A lying tongue
Hands that shed innocent blood
A heart that devises wicked plots
Feet that are swift to run into mischief
A deceitful witness that uttereth lies
Him that soweth discord among brethren

Now, that I got to review this, I just realized how sinful I am. The proud look; the lying tongue; a heart that devices evilness. My goodness!