Here in the Philippines, it has been a tradition that Filipinos go to church for nine days, as early as 4 A.M., before Christmas. This is called the Simbang Gabi or Dawn Masses.
This yearly endeavor has one purpose: the 9 masses are offered to God because He has given us the most wonderful gift we could ever receive - Jesus.
It is not easy to wake up early in the morning just to go to mass. Think about going to school or to work; takes all effort to get our butts out of bed.
But what is keeping the Filipinos from not making to these Dawn Masses? Is it their faith? Maybe. Is it the hope for a better Philippines? Maybe. Or is it because we think that if we complete the 9 masses, any wish we make will come true? More likely than not.
I think that the idea of doing thees has been distorted. Originally, this is to be offered to God. These would be like flowers given to our Father; for Him, it would really smell good this sacrifice of ours. But no! There are some people who don't do it for God, but for themselves. They think that if they show God that they are suffering (waking up early even though they only had 3, 4, or 5 hours of sleep) rather than sacrificing, they would win the favor of God and grant them their wishes.
I know that there are some people who are not like this. But for those who are, I'm a member of the club. But not anymore.
Two or three mornings ago, a priest, in his homily, taught me the REAL purpose of these endeavor. His mother was dying but he prayed to God that he will offer the masses to Him with the hopes that his mother will not die on the Christmas season. January or February, maybe. It was granted.
That's not all. He was completely blessed because of what he did. His sister returned to being a Christian. And his head priest gave him a new car!
Lesson learned: complete the 9 masses and your wishes will come true. NAW! Ha, ha, ha! These 9 masses should be offered to God together with our hearts, pure and full of humility, so that He will still continue blessing us not only for the holidays or for the next year but for our entire life.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
joyful over awesome nights and marie
It's been two nights already that I have been dreaming about you. Seems to me that the way you looked during our Christmas Party still is in my mind.
I have had a crush on you for two years now. It's more of like a friendly crush. I brushed aside any romantic feelings that was slowly building up every once in a while. I thought that our friendship is more valuable than any other thing in the world. But I also learned that for a romantic relationship to succeed, the friendship part should not be skipped.
Well, I'll do my best to take this relationship a step further. Good luck to me!
BTW, I made myself a vow for as long as I can remember that I wouldn't have an engineer or a nurse for a girlfriend. Now, the longest vow I have made in my entire life will be broken.
I thought that I should enjoy life and not restrain myself from any possibility that life has to offer me. And of course, I will trust God in this endeavor.
I have had a crush on you for two years now. It's more of like a friendly crush. I brushed aside any romantic feelings that was slowly building up every once in a while. I thought that our friendship is more valuable than any other thing in the world. But I also learned that for a romantic relationship to succeed, the friendship part should not be skipped.
Well, I'll do my best to take this relationship a step further. Good luck to me!
BTW, I made myself a vow for as long as I can remember that I wouldn't have an engineer or a nurse for a girlfriend. Now, the longest vow I have made in my entire life will be broken.
I thought that I should enjoy life and not restrain myself from any possibility that life has to offer me. And of course, I will trust God in this endeavor.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
MEN: BE A GREAT FIRST DATE!
by Evan Marc Katz
In a perfect world, all first dates would result in second dates. But in reality, some women are not going respond to you. But do you have any idea why? Did you know that there’s actually a skill to dating?
Oh, yes, there is. And the reason that you may fail the first-date test is not what you think. It has
Go ahead—be a man with a plan.
nothing to do with being tall, dark, and handsome, or taking her to the nicest restaurant in town. Being a great date has to do with one thing and one thing only: getting rid of your agenda and focusing on hers.
So what is her agenda? What do women want from men on first dates? I’m so glad you asked…
Have a plan
It’s not that “So…what do you want to do?” is a bad question, per se. I mean, of course you want to choose an activity that you know she likes. The thing is that, in asking her to come up with her own plan, you’re not establishing yourself as a leader. And generally, that’s what women want. A man who has ideas, a man who knows cool places, a man who can make reservations, name a time, and tell her when to be ready. Whether you choose a moderately priced, atmospheric bar in her part of town or suggest a museum that has an outdoor sculpture garden for strolling, by making a plan, you’re showing that you’re not just an average guy. And that’s the first step to building attraction and getting a second date.
Don’t try to impress
Have you ever met someone who tried too hard to impress you? Maybe it was some woman showing off about how many countries she’s visited or some coworker yapping about his Porsche, but either way, I’ll bet it was a turn-off. Then what is it
Warning: Over-complimenting is creepy.
about dating that turns us all into braggarts? I know there’s a temptation to show off all of the things that make you different, but resist it. Any woman worth dating will not be impressed by a man who’s trying to impress. The best dates are those who are confident without flaunting their wallet, resume, and a laundry list of accomplishments. And, by the way, if you think that “first date” means “nicest restaurant in the city,” think again. Women don’t want to be bought; they want to be valued and understood. Until you can do that, you’re going to have a hard time connecting on a date.
Be interested. Be interesting
Good conversation is like tennis. There’s a flow that can’t be scripted. She tells a story. You ask a question. She answers the question and asks you a different question. You tell a story. She relates another anecdote. Back and forth the conversation goes, until you’re both looking at your watches and wondering how it got to be so late. The key to making successful conversation is to ask relevant questions and genuinely listen to her answers. Too many times, we go on about ourselves without ever considering that our date might have something that she wants to say. So while you may come home thinking you had an amazing date who was a great listener, she’s wondering who the egomaniac was who couldn’t stop talking about himself.
Make her feel comfortable, not hunted
Yes, you think she’s attractive. Yes, there was some email flirting. Yes, it would be nice to eventually see each other naked. But now isn’t the time. Because it’s not about getting an immediate return on your investment. It’s about building trust. It’s about making it clear that your heart is in the right place. It’s about talking about connections with friends and family. It’s about alluding to a relationship in the future. While attraction is a part of dating, it’s easy to let your sexual desires turn her off. A compliment is nice. Over-complimenting is creepy. Ogling her—creepier still.
So with all these rules in your head, how can you possibly be yourself on date? Simple. Just channel your best self—the one you are around your best friends from college, the one you are with your closest family members. Around these people, you don’t try to “be” a certain way. You don’t want anything from them. You’re comfortable. You’re effortless. You’re yourself. Now you’re in a great space to date. Go ahead and enjoy it!
In a perfect world, all first dates would result in second dates. But in reality, some women are not going respond to you. But do you have any idea why? Did you know that there’s actually a skill to dating?
Oh, yes, there is. And the reason that you may fail the first-date test is not what you think. It has
Go ahead—be a man with a plan.
nothing to do with being tall, dark, and handsome, or taking her to the nicest restaurant in town. Being a great date has to do with one thing and one thing only: getting rid of your agenda and focusing on hers.
So what is her agenda? What do women want from men on first dates? I’m so glad you asked…
Have a plan
It’s not that “So…what do you want to do?” is a bad question, per se. I mean, of course you want to choose an activity that you know she likes. The thing is that, in asking her to come up with her own plan, you’re not establishing yourself as a leader. And generally, that’s what women want. A man who has ideas, a man who knows cool places, a man who can make reservations, name a time, and tell her when to be ready. Whether you choose a moderately priced, atmospheric bar in her part of town or suggest a museum that has an outdoor sculpture garden for strolling, by making a plan, you’re showing that you’re not just an average guy. And that’s the first step to building attraction and getting a second date.
Don’t try to impress
Have you ever met someone who tried too hard to impress you? Maybe it was some woman showing off about how many countries she’s visited or some coworker yapping about his Porsche, but either way, I’ll bet it was a turn-off. Then what is it
Warning: Over-complimenting is creepy.
about dating that turns us all into braggarts? I know there’s a temptation to show off all of the things that make you different, but resist it. Any woman worth dating will not be impressed by a man who’s trying to impress. The best dates are those who are confident without flaunting their wallet, resume, and a laundry list of accomplishments. And, by the way, if you think that “first date” means “nicest restaurant in the city,” think again. Women don’t want to be bought; they want to be valued and understood. Until you can do that, you’re going to have a hard time connecting on a date.
Be interested. Be interesting
Good conversation is like tennis. There’s a flow that can’t be scripted. She tells a story. You ask a question. She answers the question and asks you a different question. You tell a story. She relates another anecdote. Back and forth the conversation goes, until you’re both looking at your watches and wondering how it got to be so late. The key to making successful conversation is to ask relevant questions and genuinely listen to her answers. Too many times, we go on about ourselves without ever considering that our date might have something that she wants to say. So while you may come home thinking you had an amazing date who was a great listener, she’s wondering who the egomaniac was who couldn’t stop talking about himself.
Make her feel comfortable, not hunted
Yes, you think she’s attractive. Yes, there was some email flirting. Yes, it would be nice to eventually see each other naked. But now isn’t the time. Because it’s not about getting an immediate return on your investment. It’s about building trust. It’s about making it clear that your heart is in the right place. It’s about talking about connections with friends and family. It’s about alluding to a relationship in the future. While attraction is a part of dating, it’s easy to let your sexual desires turn her off. A compliment is nice. Over-complimenting is creepy. Ogling her—creepier still.
So with all these rules in your head, how can you possibly be yourself on date? Simple. Just channel your best self—the one you are around your best friends from college, the one you are with your closest family members. Around these people, you don’t try to “be” a certain way. You don’t want anything from them. You’re comfortable. You’re effortless. You’re yourself. Now you’re in a great space to date. Go ahead and enjoy it!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
END GAME JITTERS
Four days has passed since the announcement that a final day of reckoning will be given to the students that failed last semester's STEEL DESIGN course. And that day has come to a close. That day is tomorrow.
I have prepared for this upcoming major event in my life for four days already. I have studied well; photocopied an entire book (which is illegal); i have asked questions to classmates and teachers alike; and I've prayed like I've never prayed before. These things I have done will be tested tomorrow. How far have I really gone in terms of studying this subject? How far has my faith gone ever since the news that I failed and that we can take another shot in this subject? Tomorrow is the final date.
As usual, I psyched myself for this exam. I've encouraged myself over and over again that I should study well. But during the final day of my studies, all energy in the world suddenly goes down like a water in a glass drank by a thirsty man. I keep on wondering why that happens every time. It seems like my subconscious mind is telling me that I'm ready. That I can take the exam head on with no blood spilled. However, that is really not the case. I mean, I'm still scared. Although I already said to myself that everything's gonna be alright and that I will pass this course 100%, I'm still scared. I'm just a baby thrown into a den of hungry dogs ready to devour anything in front of them.
I opened and read several books pertaining to Steel Design. It's working, yes, but only for a little while. This crazy hormones of mine is not really helping. I can't remember something for too long! Well, a friend of mine said that masturbating can cause memory gap. Therefore, I haven't done that for quite a time now. And I hope this time, everything will flow smoothly.
God, help me through this! Our fates will be changed forever with the result of tomorrow's exam. And I want a good one. But dear God, whatever happens, may I break it or make it, I'll still continue to love you and your wonderful creations.
I can do this!
I have prepared for this upcoming major event in my life for four days already. I have studied well; photocopied an entire book (which is illegal); i have asked questions to classmates and teachers alike; and I've prayed like I've never prayed before. These things I have done will be tested tomorrow. How far have I really gone in terms of studying this subject? How far has my faith gone ever since the news that I failed and that we can take another shot in this subject? Tomorrow is the final date.
As usual, I psyched myself for this exam. I've encouraged myself over and over again that I should study well. But during the final day of my studies, all energy in the world suddenly goes down like a water in a glass drank by a thirsty man. I keep on wondering why that happens every time. It seems like my subconscious mind is telling me that I'm ready. That I can take the exam head on with no blood spilled. However, that is really not the case. I mean, I'm still scared. Although I already said to myself that everything's gonna be alright and that I will pass this course 100%, I'm still scared. I'm just a baby thrown into a den of hungry dogs ready to devour anything in front of them.
I opened and read several books pertaining to Steel Design. It's working, yes, but only for a little while. This crazy hormones of mine is not really helping. I can't remember something for too long! Well, a friend of mine said that masturbating can cause memory gap. Therefore, I haven't done that for quite a time now. And I hope this time, everything will flow smoothly.
God, help me through this! Our fates will be changed forever with the result of tomorrow's exam. And I want a good one. But dear God, whatever happens, may I break it or make it, I'll still continue to love you and your wonderful creations.
I can do this!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Kicked the Bucket
Yesterday, we celebrated ALL SOULS' DAY but it is only today that I had the chance to visit my late uncle and lolo here in Cebu. I was able to go talk to my late uncle, whom I never saw, and lolo, whom I only saw in his coffin, last Sunday.
We lit the candle, said our prayers to our late relatives, and went to the big cross to pray for all dear souls to go to heaven. As I walked away from the big cross I realized that I still have a lot in life that is in store for me. I said a short and sincere prayer to God: Dear God, I will do my best to live this life to the best of my abilities so that when it is time to kick my bucket, I'll be able to say in front of you, "I used all the things you have given me". In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
We lit the candle, said our prayers to our late relatives, and went to the big cross to pray for all dear souls to go to heaven. As I walked away from the big cross I realized that I still have a lot in life that is in store for me. I said a short and sincere prayer to God: Dear God, I will do my best to live this life to the best of my abilities so that when it is time to kick my bucket, I'll be able to say in front of you, "I used all the things you have given me". In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
First Sem
As I listen to the Journey classic Don't Stop Believing, I remember the day when dad introduced me to this marvelous band. This song may have been my theme song for this hell-of-a-ride semester. I just kept on believing that everything will just work out fine for me if I work harder.
Time flew by so fast. But there were moments wherein time flew so slow, too. I'm at the brink of becoming a professional engineer already and I am not about to give up. Giving up crossed my mind a lot of times this semester, though.
Everything's messed up, yeah. For one reason, I still don't know what my grade is for the Steel Design course. It's really giving me the pressure. I can't think right. Wanna know why? There are moments wherein I feel that I passed it and a few moments more where I feel that I failed. So it's kinda yin and yang, good and evil, light and dark. It mixes me up to the point that I sometimes get paranoid. I mean I just wanna know my grade, for Pete's sake!
Anyway, I'm thankful to God that I've been put in this place. It was his grace that saved me not by my own good works. I did my part, yes, I studied hard, I practiced well, and I burned my butt from learning what needs to be learned. But in every undertaking, I let Him take over. I learned this from Sharie. She said to me once that during her exams, she let God answer them. I did that, too. And it is for this reason that I am here in my present state right now.
At the very start of this semester, I carefully pasted one thing in my mind - EXCELLENCE. I started imagining the number 1. I planned to paste all forms of the number 1 in my room. Fortunately, I didn't because the house was renovated. Not only am I blessed in my academics, God has been giving my family a whole lot of gifts even before Christmas. My sister passed all of her subjects this semester and she has 6 more units left for the second semester. And she is also one of the officers of the entire Political Science society. My parents are loving each other more than I've ever seen them love each other. I mean, I've come to envy them. Someday, I'm gonna get my own wife and love her like how dad loved mom. Because of this enormous love overflowing in the family, God gave us a new car. It's an AUV from Toyata- an Innova. And of course, li'l bro is living and loving his life as a seminarian.
Everything has been set up pretty nicely. God has opened his gates of blessings upon this family and we are very grateful for it. I also had my a girlfriend this semester. September 18, 2009, Friday, at around 9 in the evening. Ha, ha, ha.
My heart is just so happy right now. It has been a wonderful ride!
Time flew by so fast. But there were moments wherein time flew so slow, too. I'm at the brink of becoming a professional engineer already and I am not about to give up. Giving up crossed my mind a lot of times this semester, though.
Everything's messed up, yeah. For one reason, I still don't know what my grade is for the Steel Design course. It's really giving me the pressure. I can't think right. Wanna know why? There are moments wherein I feel that I passed it and a few moments more where I feel that I failed. So it's kinda yin and yang, good and evil, light and dark. It mixes me up to the point that I sometimes get paranoid. I mean I just wanna know my grade, for Pete's sake!
Anyway, I'm thankful to God that I've been put in this place. It was his grace that saved me not by my own good works. I did my part, yes, I studied hard, I practiced well, and I burned my butt from learning what needs to be learned. But in every undertaking, I let Him take over. I learned this from Sharie. She said to me once that during her exams, she let God answer them. I did that, too. And it is for this reason that I am here in my present state right now.
At the very start of this semester, I carefully pasted one thing in my mind - EXCELLENCE. I started imagining the number 1. I planned to paste all forms of the number 1 in my room. Fortunately, I didn't because the house was renovated. Not only am I blessed in my academics, God has been giving my family a whole lot of gifts even before Christmas. My sister passed all of her subjects this semester and she has 6 more units left for the second semester. And she is also one of the officers of the entire Political Science society. My parents are loving each other more than I've ever seen them love each other. I mean, I've come to envy them. Someday, I'm gonna get my own wife and love her like how dad loved mom. Because of this enormous love overflowing in the family, God gave us a new car. It's an AUV from Toyata- an Innova. And of course, li'l bro is living and loving his life as a seminarian.
Everything has been set up pretty nicely. God has opened his gates of blessings upon this family and we are very grateful for it. I also had my a girlfriend this semester. September 18, 2009, Friday, at around 9 in the evening. Ha, ha, ha.
My heart is just so happy right now. It has been a wonderful ride!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Ramil Digal Gulle: DAGHANG SALAMAT, ONDOY
All I wanted to do on Saturday morning was to go to my doctor. After getting off the MRT station in Kamuning (about 10 am) I waded through ankle-deep floodwaters to accompany my wife to the TV station where she works. The rest of the day was already clear in my head: Go to the doctor, finish my business there by around lunchtime (there are usually quite a number of patients, and I wasn’t expecting to finish earlier than that), pick up my wife and we go home for some needed time with the kids.
I thought nothing of it when the doctor’s nurse texted me to say that the doctor’s clinic was already flooded. The clinic is in the low-lying Kamias area. Fine, I told myself, I’ll just go to Hi-Top and buy a bottle of wine and ingredients for dinner. My daughter had requested that I cook for dinner.
After Hi-Top, I proceeded to the TV station where my wife works. I was walking the whole time because of the rain. I felt no danger despite the rain. The rain wasn’t that strong by the time I left Hi-Top. Then I reached the corner of Panay Avenue and Sergeant Esguerra. Holy shit. The floodwaters were neck-deep in Esguerra!
I turned left on Panay, planning to take the train at the Quezon Avenue MRT then disembark at Kamuning station, so I could just walk towards the TV station. I reached Hen Lin (a Chinese fastfood) which is right under the MRT station. I was surprised to see that Edsa was flooded. The area in front of the McDonald’s outlet was waist-deep in flood.
There was a guy—he was soaked from head-to-foot—who was warning people getting off the Quezon Avenue MRT station. He was telling everyone who could hear him:
“O, wag na kayo dyan sa Esguerra. Hanggang leeg doon. Dito sa may Edsa hanggang baywang. Mamili na lang kayo kung saan niyo gustong magpakamatay.”
[Don’t go to Esguerra. The water there is neck-deep. Over there at Edsa it’s waist-deep. You guys choose which side you prefer. You choose where you want to kill yourself.]
The guy was trying to be funny. I went up the MRT station, boarded the train and got off at Kamuning. When I reached the TV station, my wife texted me that she won’t be going home. All TV news staff were required to stay because of widespread flooding.
I called the kids at home. Thank God there wasn’t too much rain in Cavite. Finally, I saw what was happening in Marikina and Rizal on the TV set at the visitor’s area. Shit. I won’t be able to go home. Then I also learned that the way to Cavite was impassable.
After talking to my 9-year-old daughter some more and assessing that Cavite would likely not be affected by the typhoon, I made up my mind to wait for my wife. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to let her go home alone, with floodwaters rising in Quezon City.
People were coming to the TV station. Every single one was asking for help. They had loved ones trapped inside their house by floodwaters. There were loved ones already on rooftops. The floods were rising too fast in some areas. And so began my long day: filled with the weeping of women, worries about friends trapped in rooftops, worries about my kids (what if the typhoon turns and hits Cavite?), and a feeling of utter helplessness.
My wife worked till about midnight. We tried to get to Cavite but even before we reached the tollgate of the expressway leading to Bacoor, huge trucks were already turning back. We were in a cab. I decided not to risk whatever was ahead. There could have been floods, an accident, etc.
My daughter kept calling my mobile phone. She was crying. When were we going to get home? After getting assured that there was no flooding in Cavite, that our kids were not in danger of any flood, I told my wife we should just wait for morning. We turned back and stayed in a hotel—the hotel lobby to be exact. All the rooms were booked. It was already 2am. We couldn’t sleep. We simply waited till the sun was up.
When I finally got home today, the first thing I did was gather wife and kids for prayers. We prayed out of gratitude. We were all safe. Then we prayed for all those who were still trapped, who were still struggling to stay alive amid floodwaters. I was crying.
I find myself unable to sleep after being awake since 6 am yesterday morning. I’m still keyed up. My wife’s asleep, finally, after getting a massage. I want to sleep but each time I manage to doze off, I jerk awake at the slightest noise. So I’ll just write.
I can’t get the sound of weeping mothers out of my head. That’s how I spent the night while stranded in Quezon City. All these mothers kept talking about their kids. One mother, Lina, could not help but cry for her kids, who were trapped in the third storey of a neighbor’s house for out eight hours already by the time she spoke to me. Her husband was also trapped by floodwaters—he could not leave his office in Quezon City.
Here are some things I learned from the experience. I can write them down in the comfort of home with my wife and kids safely with me. I actually feel guilty that I’m in this situation. I feel guilty that I’m not out there on a rubber boat saving people.
So I’ll write some more and go to bed. After I get some sleep, I might have a saner perspective.
Our families are not prepared for climate change. Typhoon Ondoy was true to its name, which means “little boy”—it wasn’t a supertyphoon. And yet, we all failed in so many fronts.
In our own home, we don’t have an emergency kit. The flashlight is no longer where I always put it. Furthermore, I’m not aware of any evacuation plan in our community. Who do we call? Where do we evacuate when waters start rising? I have no idea. It’s the sort of ignorance that kills.
One friend of mine lost her possessions in the floods. Her husband and kids are safe. She had the quick and sensible thinking to have her family evacuate shortly after the water began seeping into their house and after the power was cut off. They left everything and booked themselves in a hotel. “I lost everything,” she told me over her mobile phone. I told her that the most important things in her life were saved.
Our government—both the national government and the LGUs--is not prepared for climate change. If people are safe now—relatively, for some, because it’s again starting to rain and many are still trapped on rooftops, awaiting rescue—it’s because of prayer. So many people were—are still—praying. It seems the prayers were heard because we all got a respite from the rain.
Filipinos have a saying, “Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa” (God dispenses mercy but man has to do the work). God has already dispensed his mercy. Will we do our part?
There’s no excuse for the lack of rubber boats, for example. We have floods every year. But every year, we are unprepared. The two rubber boats that began rescuing people in Marikina were a relief to know about, but why only two?
Philippine National Red Cross Chairman Dick Gordon tried to transport several more rubber boats but these had to come all the way from Olongapo. And with the traffic jams at the expressways, they could not get to Metro Manila in time.
The headquarters of the National Disaster Coordinating Council and the headquarters of the Armed Forces of the Philippines are both in Quezon City. And yet, for nearly 12 hours, Quezon City residents trapped in floods could not be rescued. The AFP, if I remember correctly, usually has the biggest slice of the national budget every year. But where were the choppers? Where were the rubber boats? Clearly something is very wrong.
Then we recall how General Carlos Garcia, former AFP comptroller, was caught (by US authorities, not by Philippine authorities) trying to bring in millions of pesos in cash to the US. It does not inspire faith in the military leadership.
We also recall a lot of things that are disquieting: government resources being used to secure a questionable telecoms deal with a Chinese firm; millions of pesos spent on Presidential dinners abroad; millions of pesos in campaign contributions unaccounted for; millions of pesos spent on a California mansion; billions of pesos spent on foreign trips; and a cancelled plan to buy a new Presidential jet.
How do you explain all that to kids trapped on their rooftop for nearly 24 hours—soaking wet, hungry, crying for their mothers and going insane with fear?
How do you explain the fact that the government can spend millions upon millions on so many other projects, but could only produce two rubber boats to rescue scores of residents trapped in a flooded Marikina village? How do you explain the President’s lobster and steak dinners to Rizal residents neck-deep in muddy floodwaters?
Every year, we get floods and typhoons. Every year, we give money to the AFP and the NDCC. And all that the Marikina residents get are two rubber boats?
And wasn’t Marikina always being trumpeted as some sort of “First World City in a Third World Country”? Clean and green Marikina. Disciplined Marikina, a jewel of law and order in the chaos of the Mega Manila.
The Marikina River floods every year. Every year. But when it really mattered, the City Government of Marikina did not have enough emergency equipment, did not have enough rubber boats. Or if it did, it did not have the capacity to deploy these resources in time. It seemed to have no plan for the evacuation of residents at Provident Village before floodwaters could reach it.
And former Marikina mayor Bayani Fernando wants to run the rest of the country the way he did Marikina—or at least, that’s the impression we get. We could be wrong.
To be fair, none of us expected something like Typhoon Ondoy. But the lack of rubber boats, the seeming lack of coordinated response, the empty promises made over the media—these are simply not acceptable. These do not inspire our confidence in government once the next super typhoon hits.
I mentioned Marikina only as an example. I’m not blaming Fernando or his wife (the present Marikina mayor). I’m just stating how things appear. The real story about the slow rescue, etc. might unfold in the next few days.
[Kris Aquino was talking on TV about Marikina rescue efforts. She said that according to one Marikina resident, there were rubber boats deployed by the Marikina government--but the river's currents were so strong that the rubber boats got overturned. It was also pointed out that Marikina Mayor Marides Fernando did everything she could but "nature's wrath" was just too powerful. In the interest of fairness I should point this out.]
What happened to Marikina can happen anywhere. The local governments of Bulacan, Pasig and Rizal fared no better. Are our local governments prepared for climate change? Are they prepared for typhoons like Ondoy, or much stronger ones? Your guess is as good as mine.
What would have happened if Ondoy didn’t leave the country in the hours following the massive flooding? What if it was a super typhoon that decided to stay for a few days?
The answer is so obvious that we’re scared to state it: Death and Chaos. So many people, so many children will die. Our loved ones will die. We will die.
The next few days, weeks and months will tell us whether the government cares to prevent this, or whether it wants to use climate change as a kind of population control.
The government’s priorities have been clear in the way it spends its money and allocates its resources. For example, the AFP budget keeps growing. But what about the budget for the national weather agency PAGASA (Philippine Atmospheric Geophysical and Astronomical Service Administration)? There were reports a few years back that the budget was actually slashed.
During a report on GMA-7 news last night, PAGASA OIC Nathaniel Cruz said that there was a piece of equipment that could help the agency estimate a typhoon’s potential amount of rainfall (very useful in the case of Ondoy, which poured a month’s worth of rainfall in about five hours)—a Doppler radar. Does PAGASA have this equipment?
No. The national weather agency, the only one that could warn us if we should evacuate because a typhoon will bring a deluge, does not have a Doppler radar. But it’s on its way, clarifies Cruz.
PAGASA, in Filipino, also means “Hope”. Based on how the government seems to prioritize PAGASA, the weather agency, do we have reason to hope?
It was drummed into my head a long time ago that when we use the term “government” in a democracy, we should really refer to ourselves. After all, in a democracy, governance must be by, of and for the people.
So it’s either we’re not really a democracy (because we always stand back and just let a bunch of evil yoyos run things for us) or we’re all just not getting this governance thing right. We’re not governing things the way we should.
It’s raining again. I hope we get our acts together soon.
I thought nothing of it when the doctor’s nurse texted me to say that the doctor’s clinic was already flooded. The clinic is in the low-lying Kamias area. Fine, I told myself, I’ll just go to Hi-Top and buy a bottle of wine and ingredients for dinner. My daughter had requested that I cook for dinner.
After Hi-Top, I proceeded to the TV station where my wife works. I was walking the whole time because of the rain. I felt no danger despite the rain. The rain wasn’t that strong by the time I left Hi-Top. Then I reached the corner of Panay Avenue and Sergeant Esguerra. Holy shit. The floodwaters were neck-deep in Esguerra!
I turned left on Panay, planning to take the train at the Quezon Avenue MRT then disembark at Kamuning station, so I could just walk towards the TV station. I reached Hen Lin (a Chinese fastfood) which is right under the MRT station. I was surprised to see that Edsa was flooded. The area in front of the McDonald’s outlet was waist-deep in flood.
There was a guy—he was soaked from head-to-foot—who was warning people getting off the Quezon Avenue MRT station. He was telling everyone who could hear him:
“O, wag na kayo dyan sa Esguerra. Hanggang leeg doon. Dito sa may Edsa hanggang baywang. Mamili na lang kayo kung saan niyo gustong magpakamatay.”
[Don’t go to Esguerra. The water there is neck-deep. Over there at Edsa it’s waist-deep. You guys choose which side you prefer. You choose where you want to kill yourself.]
The guy was trying to be funny. I went up the MRT station, boarded the train and got off at Kamuning. When I reached the TV station, my wife texted me that she won’t be going home. All TV news staff were required to stay because of widespread flooding.
I called the kids at home. Thank God there wasn’t too much rain in Cavite. Finally, I saw what was happening in Marikina and Rizal on the TV set at the visitor’s area. Shit. I won’t be able to go home. Then I also learned that the way to Cavite was impassable.
After talking to my 9-year-old daughter some more and assessing that Cavite would likely not be affected by the typhoon, I made up my mind to wait for my wife. I didn’t think it would be a good idea to let her go home alone, with floodwaters rising in Quezon City.
People were coming to the TV station. Every single one was asking for help. They had loved ones trapped inside their house by floodwaters. There were loved ones already on rooftops. The floods were rising too fast in some areas. And so began my long day: filled with the weeping of women, worries about friends trapped in rooftops, worries about my kids (what if the typhoon turns and hits Cavite?), and a feeling of utter helplessness.
My wife worked till about midnight. We tried to get to Cavite but even before we reached the tollgate of the expressway leading to Bacoor, huge trucks were already turning back. We were in a cab. I decided not to risk whatever was ahead. There could have been floods, an accident, etc.
My daughter kept calling my mobile phone. She was crying. When were we going to get home? After getting assured that there was no flooding in Cavite, that our kids were not in danger of any flood, I told my wife we should just wait for morning. We turned back and stayed in a hotel—the hotel lobby to be exact. All the rooms were booked. It was already 2am. We couldn’t sleep. We simply waited till the sun was up.
When I finally got home today, the first thing I did was gather wife and kids for prayers. We prayed out of gratitude. We were all safe. Then we prayed for all those who were still trapped, who were still struggling to stay alive amid floodwaters. I was crying.
I find myself unable to sleep after being awake since 6 am yesterday morning. I’m still keyed up. My wife’s asleep, finally, after getting a massage. I want to sleep but each time I manage to doze off, I jerk awake at the slightest noise. So I’ll just write.
I can’t get the sound of weeping mothers out of my head. That’s how I spent the night while stranded in Quezon City. All these mothers kept talking about their kids. One mother, Lina, could not help but cry for her kids, who were trapped in the third storey of a neighbor’s house for out eight hours already by the time she spoke to me. Her husband was also trapped by floodwaters—he could not leave his office in Quezon City.
Here are some things I learned from the experience. I can write them down in the comfort of home with my wife and kids safely with me. I actually feel guilty that I’m in this situation. I feel guilty that I’m not out there on a rubber boat saving people.
So I’ll write some more and go to bed. After I get some sleep, I might have a saner perspective.
Our families are not prepared for climate change. Typhoon Ondoy was true to its name, which means “little boy”—it wasn’t a supertyphoon. And yet, we all failed in so many fronts.
In our own home, we don’t have an emergency kit. The flashlight is no longer where I always put it. Furthermore, I’m not aware of any evacuation plan in our community. Who do we call? Where do we evacuate when waters start rising? I have no idea. It’s the sort of ignorance that kills.
One friend of mine lost her possessions in the floods. Her husband and kids are safe. She had the quick and sensible thinking to have her family evacuate shortly after the water began seeping into their house and after the power was cut off. They left everything and booked themselves in a hotel. “I lost everything,” she told me over her mobile phone. I told her that the most important things in her life were saved.
Our government—both the national government and the LGUs--is not prepared for climate change. If people are safe now—relatively, for some, because it’s again starting to rain and many are still trapped on rooftops, awaiting rescue—it’s because of prayer. So many people were—are still—praying. It seems the prayers were heard because we all got a respite from the rain.
Filipinos have a saying, “Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa” (God dispenses mercy but man has to do the work). God has already dispensed his mercy. Will we do our part?
There’s no excuse for the lack of rubber boats, for example. We have floods every year. But every year, we are unprepared. The two rubber boats that began rescuing people in Marikina were a relief to know about, but why only two?
Philippine National Red Cross Chairman Dick Gordon tried to transport several more rubber boats but these had to come all the way from Olongapo. And with the traffic jams at the expressways, they could not get to Metro Manila in time.
The headquarters of the National Disaster Coordinating Council and the headquarters of the Armed Forces of the Philippines are both in Quezon City. And yet, for nearly 12 hours, Quezon City residents trapped in floods could not be rescued. The AFP, if I remember correctly, usually has the biggest slice of the national budget every year. But where were the choppers? Where were the rubber boats? Clearly something is very wrong.
Then we recall how General Carlos Garcia, former AFP comptroller, was caught (by US authorities, not by Philippine authorities) trying to bring in millions of pesos in cash to the US. It does not inspire faith in the military leadership.
We also recall a lot of things that are disquieting: government resources being used to secure a questionable telecoms deal with a Chinese firm; millions of pesos spent on Presidential dinners abroad; millions of pesos in campaign contributions unaccounted for; millions of pesos spent on a California mansion; billions of pesos spent on foreign trips; and a cancelled plan to buy a new Presidential jet.
How do you explain all that to kids trapped on their rooftop for nearly 24 hours—soaking wet, hungry, crying for their mothers and going insane with fear?
How do you explain the fact that the government can spend millions upon millions on so many other projects, but could only produce two rubber boats to rescue scores of residents trapped in a flooded Marikina village? How do you explain the President’s lobster and steak dinners to Rizal residents neck-deep in muddy floodwaters?
Every year, we get floods and typhoons. Every year, we give money to the AFP and the NDCC. And all that the Marikina residents get are two rubber boats?
And wasn’t Marikina always being trumpeted as some sort of “First World City in a Third World Country”? Clean and green Marikina. Disciplined Marikina, a jewel of law and order in the chaos of the Mega Manila.
The Marikina River floods every year. Every year. But when it really mattered, the City Government of Marikina did not have enough emergency equipment, did not have enough rubber boats. Or if it did, it did not have the capacity to deploy these resources in time. It seemed to have no plan for the evacuation of residents at Provident Village before floodwaters could reach it.
And former Marikina mayor Bayani Fernando wants to run the rest of the country the way he did Marikina—or at least, that’s the impression we get. We could be wrong.
To be fair, none of us expected something like Typhoon Ondoy. But the lack of rubber boats, the seeming lack of coordinated response, the empty promises made over the media—these are simply not acceptable. These do not inspire our confidence in government once the next super typhoon hits.
I mentioned Marikina only as an example. I’m not blaming Fernando or his wife (the present Marikina mayor). I’m just stating how things appear. The real story about the slow rescue, etc. might unfold in the next few days.
[Kris Aquino was talking on TV about Marikina rescue efforts. She said that according to one Marikina resident, there were rubber boats deployed by the Marikina government--but the river's currents were so strong that the rubber boats got overturned. It was also pointed out that Marikina Mayor Marides Fernando did everything she could but "nature's wrath" was just too powerful. In the interest of fairness I should point this out.]
What happened to Marikina can happen anywhere. The local governments of Bulacan, Pasig and Rizal fared no better. Are our local governments prepared for climate change? Are they prepared for typhoons like Ondoy, or much stronger ones? Your guess is as good as mine.
What would have happened if Ondoy didn’t leave the country in the hours following the massive flooding? What if it was a super typhoon that decided to stay for a few days?
The answer is so obvious that we’re scared to state it: Death and Chaos. So many people, so many children will die. Our loved ones will die. We will die.
The next few days, weeks and months will tell us whether the government cares to prevent this, or whether it wants to use climate change as a kind of population control.
The government’s priorities have been clear in the way it spends its money and allocates its resources. For example, the AFP budget keeps growing. But what about the budget for the national weather agency PAGASA (Philippine Atmospheric Geophysical and Astronomical Service Administration)? There were reports a few years back that the budget was actually slashed.
During a report on GMA-7 news last night, PAGASA OIC Nathaniel Cruz said that there was a piece of equipment that could help the agency estimate a typhoon’s potential amount of rainfall (very useful in the case of Ondoy, which poured a month’s worth of rainfall in about five hours)—a Doppler radar. Does PAGASA have this equipment?
No. The national weather agency, the only one that could warn us if we should evacuate because a typhoon will bring a deluge, does not have a Doppler radar. But it’s on its way, clarifies Cruz.
PAGASA, in Filipino, also means “Hope”. Based on how the government seems to prioritize PAGASA, the weather agency, do we have reason to hope?
It was drummed into my head a long time ago that when we use the term “government” in a democracy, we should really refer to ourselves. After all, in a democracy, governance must be by, of and for the people.
So it’s either we’re not really a democracy (because we always stand back and just let a bunch of evil yoyos run things for us) or we’re all just not getting this governance thing right. We’re not governing things the way we should.
It’s raining again. I hope we get our acts together soon.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Romans 8
ROMANS 8: 18-27
FUTURE GLORY
18I CONSIDER THAT OUR PRESENT SUFFERINGS ARE NOT WORTH COMPARING WITH THE GLORY THAT WILL BE REVEALED IN US. 19THE CREATION WAITS IN EAGER EXPECTAITION FOR THE SONS OF GOD TO BE REVEALED. 20FOR THE CREATION WAS SUBJECTED TO FRUSTRATION, NOT BY ITS OWN CHOICE, BUT BY THE WILL OF THE ONE WHO SUBJECTED IT, IN HOPE 21THAT THE CREATION ITSELF WILL BE LIBERATED FROM ITS BONDAGE TO DECAY AND BROUGHT INTO THE GLORIOUS FREEDOM OF THE CHILDREN OF GOD.
22WE KNOW THAT THE WHOLE CREATION HAS BEEN GROANING AS IN THE PAINS OF CHILDBIRTH RIGHT UP TO THE PRESENT TIME. 23NOT ONLY SO, BUT WE OURSELVES, WHO HAVE THE FIRSTFRUITS OF THE SPIRIT, GROAN INWARDLY AS WE WAIT EAGERLY FOR OUR ADOPTION AS SONS, THE REDEMPTION OF OUR BODIES. 24FOR IN THIS HOPE WE WERE SAVED. BUT HOPE THAT IS SEEN IS NO HOPE AT ALL. WHO HOPES FOR WHAT HE ALREADY HAS? 25BUT IF WE HOPE FOR WHAT WE DO NOT YET HAVE, WE WAIT FOR IT PATIENTLY.
26IN THE SAME WAY, THE SPIRIT HELPS US IN OUR WEAKNESS. WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE OUGHT TO PRAY FOR, BUT THE SPIRIT HIMSELF INTERCEDES FOR US WITH GROANS THAT WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS. 27AND HE WHO SEARCHES OUR HEARTS KNOWS THE MIND OF THE SPIRIT, BECAUSE THE SPIRIT INTERCEDES FOR THE SAINTS IN ACCORDANCE WITH GOD’S WILL.
FUTURE GLORY
18I CONSIDER THAT OUR PRESENT SUFFERINGS ARE NOT WORTH COMPARING WITH THE GLORY THAT WILL BE REVEALED IN US. 19THE CREATION WAITS IN EAGER EXPECTAITION FOR THE SONS OF GOD TO BE REVEALED. 20FOR THE CREATION WAS SUBJECTED TO FRUSTRATION, NOT BY ITS OWN CHOICE, BUT BY THE WILL OF THE ONE WHO SUBJECTED IT, IN HOPE 21THAT THE CREATION ITSELF WILL BE LIBERATED FROM ITS BONDAGE TO DECAY AND BROUGHT INTO THE GLORIOUS FREEDOM OF THE CHILDREN OF GOD.
22WE KNOW THAT THE WHOLE CREATION HAS BEEN GROANING AS IN THE PAINS OF CHILDBIRTH RIGHT UP TO THE PRESENT TIME. 23NOT ONLY SO, BUT WE OURSELVES, WHO HAVE THE FIRSTFRUITS OF THE SPIRIT, GROAN INWARDLY AS WE WAIT EAGERLY FOR OUR ADOPTION AS SONS, THE REDEMPTION OF OUR BODIES. 24FOR IN THIS HOPE WE WERE SAVED. BUT HOPE THAT IS SEEN IS NO HOPE AT ALL. WHO HOPES FOR WHAT HE ALREADY HAS? 25BUT IF WE HOPE FOR WHAT WE DO NOT YET HAVE, WE WAIT FOR IT PATIENTLY.
26IN THE SAME WAY, THE SPIRIT HELPS US IN OUR WEAKNESS. WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE OUGHT TO PRAY FOR, BUT THE SPIRIT HIMSELF INTERCEDES FOR US WITH GROANS THAT WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS. 27AND HE WHO SEARCHES OUR HEARTS KNOWS THE MIND OF THE SPIRIT, BECAUSE THE SPIRIT INTERCEDES FOR THE SAINTS IN ACCORDANCE WITH GOD’S WILL.
Missing It
What do I miss most in life? Extreme sports! It has been 3 years since I last played the sport that I considered a part of my life – basketball. I kept on talking about how basketball changed my way of thinking. Whether to my friends, my brother, or to anyone in particular I just keep on blabbering about my love for basketball. And all of a sudden, it has been taken away from me.
I started playing basketball when I was in my fourth grade. My teachers encouraged me and my classmates to join a particular club in school so that we will be able to write something in our extra-curricular activities index card. The club I joined in my first grade until the third was the Lupon ng mga Mananalumpati or Poetry Club. I loved that club since it was a silent club and we always presented something in the culminating activity held at the end of every school year. It was fun but I thought that I wanted something more exciting. What could it be? Math club – I wasn’t so good in math back then. Science club – I hate science and yes, until now, I still hate it. Then I heard some rumors that the Basketball club members have so much to write in their card. Well, ok, I thought, let’s give it a try. And since then, basketball has been injected in my blood.
In my high school days, I and my friends do our best to play basketball during every available period we have and that includes our 15 minute snack break. Every time I think about our adventures and misadventures that time, I always say to myself that we were just kids fooling around with a round thing that bounces. We just had the same passion for the sport. And believe me if I say that I still do even if I don’t play anymore.
September of 2006 when an accident changed my life. I had torn my left knee cartilage during a friendly basketball game. I was a second year college student, so young, so fragile.
I heard stories from some friends that you usually throw tantrums when you use the crutches. I was scared, really. My entire left leg was casted with a fiber glass material which limited my walking and hence, I used the crutches. I have a friend who had a similar accident. His right forearm broke because of basketball and what was so funny about that was he cried. He didn’t cry because it hurt, he cried because his mother would spend some cash because of his recklessness.
I put all those things together and I thought that I would be a disciplined kid who would wait until after 6 weeks of being useless. Everyday was heart-breaking. I just sit in one corner and wait for someone to come and just talk. I was pitiful that time. And what hurt me most was the fact that I won’t be able to play basketball or any extreme sport for that matter. I just cry deep inside and curse the day that took away my love for basketball.
I was even afraid that I might go crazy. I kept on talking to myself. Why did that happen? What did I do wrong? And more of those questions ran my mind each and everyday. The only thing that made me happy about that accident was that I was able to talk to God more. Instead of only talking to myself, I call out to God to also talk to me. Our relationship grew stronger and little by little he made me understand why that had to happen.
It hurts. It hurts more than being punched in the gut when you are being deprived of doing the thing that you love most. I miss playing the sport. I miss the teamwork we create. I miss the hustle plays. I miss the huge shots I made. I miss the sick passes I do. I just miss everything about the sport. And the more I think about it, all other sport just come into play. I was introduced to football and the martial arts. I wanted to run more miles in my life today than what I did when my knee was well.
Oh, how ironic is life. But it wouldn’t be life if there weren’t any irony or ambiguity or challenges or frustrations or failure. I just have to maximize what is left of me and continue running toward the greater goal.
I started playing basketball when I was in my fourth grade. My teachers encouraged me and my classmates to join a particular club in school so that we will be able to write something in our extra-curricular activities index card. The club I joined in my first grade until the third was the Lupon ng mga Mananalumpati or Poetry Club. I loved that club since it was a silent club and we always presented something in the culminating activity held at the end of every school year. It was fun but I thought that I wanted something more exciting. What could it be? Math club – I wasn’t so good in math back then. Science club – I hate science and yes, until now, I still hate it. Then I heard some rumors that the Basketball club members have so much to write in their card. Well, ok, I thought, let’s give it a try. And since then, basketball has been injected in my blood.
In my high school days, I and my friends do our best to play basketball during every available period we have and that includes our 15 minute snack break. Every time I think about our adventures and misadventures that time, I always say to myself that we were just kids fooling around with a round thing that bounces. We just had the same passion for the sport. And believe me if I say that I still do even if I don’t play anymore.
September of 2006 when an accident changed my life. I had torn my left knee cartilage during a friendly basketball game. I was a second year college student, so young, so fragile.
I heard stories from some friends that you usually throw tantrums when you use the crutches. I was scared, really. My entire left leg was casted with a fiber glass material which limited my walking and hence, I used the crutches. I have a friend who had a similar accident. His right forearm broke because of basketball and what was so funny about that was he cried. He didn’t cry because it hurt, he cried because his mother would spend some cash because of his recklessness.
I put all those things together and I thought that I would be a disciplined kid who would wait until after 6 weeks of being useless. Everyday was heart-breaking. I just sit in one corner and wait for someone to come and just talk. I was pitiful that time. And what hurt me most was the fact that I won’t be able to play basketball or any extreme sport for that matter. I just cry deep inside and curse the day that took away my love for basketball.
I was even afraid that I might go crazy. I kept on talking to myself. Why did that happen? What did I do wrong? And more of those questions ran my mind each and everyday. The only thing that made me happy about that accident was that I was able to talk to God more. Instead of only talking to myself, I call out to God to also talk to me. Our relationship grew stronger and little by little he made me understand why that had to happen.
It hurts. It hurts more than being punched in the gut when you are being deprived of doing the thing that you love most. I miss playing the sport. I miss the teamwork we create. I miss the hustle plays. I miss the huge shots I made. I miss the sick passes I do. I just miss everything about the sport. And the more I think about it, all other sport just come into play. I was introduced to football and the martial arts. I wanted to run more miles in my life today than what I did when my knee was well.
Oh, how ironic is life. But it wouldn’t be life if there weren’t any irony or ambiguity or challenges or frustrations or failure. I just have to maximize what is left of me and continue running toward the greater goal.
Fist and Faith
I really like to sweat a lot. So, working out every once in a while has been a hobby for me since I went to college. My friends somehow triggered this tiring task since they also work out. Edjie told me about a few years back that his body wasn’t made for boxing for the reason that he has a small wrist. Well, not really small but it wasn’t big enough for boxing. I don’t want to think that I also have a small wrist, which I do, because I love to box.
I watched boxers in Youtube; their style, vitality, body, movements, and the wrist. They have big wrists! Ok, my body isn’t also made for boxing. But I still punch the bag, though. I also still shadow box.
So why do I love to box? First of all, I want to have a beautiful body. It’s a stimulator every time I stop sweating in the gym. I can also simulate weird things in the gym with the punching bag. For example, there will be a fight in front of me and I have to do something or I were engaged in a fight. Things happen, shit happens, so it’s better to be prepared.
But what is the use of these fists? Is it really to get involved in an uncontrollable fighting? Hmmmm, come to think of it, yes, in a suitable situation, that is. In the anime Bleach, Sado was told by his abuelo (grand father) that his big fists aren’t used to fight those who hurt him, but to protect those dear to him. So are mine.
Whenever I’m alone and these hormones kick up, I tend to imagine that I’m beating up somebody to hell. I get into situations that are similar in real life you know although it didn’t reach the fighting scene. But when I calm down and the hormones aren’t kicking anymore, my smooth talking self awakens. I begin to work by the book. I mean the biblical way.
I have faith in all I do, whether it may be small thing, a big one, or whatever. I haven’t punched anyone in my current strength also. I’m in a state where I want to punch yet I don’t want to punch someone. It’s kinda ironic but that’s me. I don’t to resort in some fist fighting if I can help it. If possible, talking things out would be the best way so that I won’t get hurt and I won’t hurt anyone.
Jesus said that there is no greater love than laying down his life for his friends. It would be cool if one day I can carry out that love to the fullest. Just like my favorite anime characters do in their fight against evil and for their principle and love. But of course, like I said, I don’t want to resort in reckless fighting and if I do, you should know that I won’t easily give up and I’d give it all I’ve got. That’s my way of the ninja (lol :)).
I watched boxers in Youtube; their style, vitality, body, movements, and the wrist. They have big wrists! Ok, my body isn’t also made for boxing. But I still punch the bag, though. I also still shadow box.
So why do I love to box? First of all, I want to have a beautiful body. It’s a stimulator every time I stop sweating in the gym. I can also simulate weird things in the gym with the punching bag. For example, there will be a fight in front of me and I have to do something or I were engaged in a fight. Things happen, shit happens, so it’s better to be prepared.
But what is the use of these fists? Is it really to get involved in an uncontrollable fighting? Hmmmm, come to think of it, yes, in a suitable situation, that is. In the anime Bleach, Sado was told by his abuelo (grand father) that his big fists aren’t used to fight those who hurt him, but to protect those dear to him. So are mine.
Whenever I’m alone and these hormones kick up, I tend to imagine that I’m beating up somebody to hell. I get into situations that are similar in real life you know although it didn’t reach the fighting scene. But when I calm down and the hormones aren’t kicking anymore, my smooth talking self awakens. I begin to work by the book. I mean the biblical way.
I have faith in all I do, whether it may be small thing, a big one, or whatever. I haven’t punched anyone in my current strength also. I’m in a state where I want to punch yet I don’t want to punch someone. It’s kinda ironic but that’s me. I don’t to resort in some fist fighting if I can help it. If possible, talking things out would be the best way so that I won’t get hurt and I won’t hurt anyone.
Jesus said that there is no greater love than laying down his life for his friends. It would be cool if one day I can carry out that love to the fullest. Just like my favorite anime characters do in their fight against evil and for their principle and love. But of course, like I said, I don’t want to resort in reckless fighting and if I do, you should know that I won’t easily give up and I’d give it all I’ve got. That’s my way of the ninja (lol :)).
Sunday, June 28, 2009
2 Seconds of Pure Bliss
Her name is Sharie Bagundol. A 3rd year BS Math student of the University of San Carlos. I met her one fateful Friday night in the Victory Center in Escario dating sometime late 2008 or early 2009. I befriended her because she has the characteristics that I'm looking for in a girl: beautiful, intelligent, witty, talkative, and God-fearing. She is a very nice girl. The type wherein a guy can fall in love with her after 2 hours of getting to know her. I fell for her, too.
I talked to Alex Rivas, one of the LIFE (Leadership, Integrity, Faith, and Excellence) Coaches in the center, last June 21 about me having a plan on courting her. And he hit me with a gut-wrenching question, "Is it the right time?" He was harsh about that. But I gave it a thought. Is it really the right time? My instant answer was NO. Of course I'm a graduating student with all of the requirements and exams and the pressure of excelling in my academics but I also wanted to enjoy life with someone.
For a week, I kept on pondering about it. And God gave me an answer.
Yesterday around 6:30 pm, I saw Sharie. She wore a dress. She looked angelic. She took my breath away. Everything happened so fast and for 2 seconds, she took me in a magical world full of excitement and promise. My heart was beating like crazy the rest of the time. But...
I thanked God for what I saw. She was just so beautiful. I never expected someone to take my breath away and then I saw her. The answer was clear: I should not court her. We'll be better as friends... for now.
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MANY ARE THE PLANS IN A MAN'S HEART, BUT IT'S THE LORD'S PURPOSE THAT WILL PREVAIL. Proverbs 19:21
I talked to Alex Rivas, one of the LIFE (Leadership, Integrity, Faith, and Excellence) Coaches in the center, last June 21 about me having a plan on courting her. And he hit me with a gut-wrenching question, "Is it the right time?" He was harsh about that. But I gave it a thought. Is it really the right time? My instant answer was NO. Of course I'm a graduating student with all of the requirements and exams and the pressure of excelling in my academics but I also wanted to enjoy life with someone.
For a week, I kept on pondering about it. And God gave me an answer.
Yesterday around 6:30 pm, I saw Sharie. She wore a dress. She looked angelic. She took my breath away. Everything happened so fast and for 2 seconds, she took me in a magical world full of excitement and promise. My heart was beating like crazy the rest of the time. But...
I thanked God for what I saw. She was just so beautiful. I never expected someone to take my breath away and then I saw her. The answer was clear: I should not court her. We'll be better as friends... for now.
----------------------------------------------
MANY ARE THE PLANS IN A MAN'S HEART, BUT IT'S THE LORD'S PURPOSE THAT WILL PREVAIL. Proverbs 19:21
Sunday, June 14, 2009
THE QUESTION that CHANGED MY LIFE
THE QUESTION that CHANGED MY LIFE
-by David Ryser.
A number of years ago, I had the privilege of teaching at a school
of ministry. My students were hungry for God, and I was constantly
searching for ways to challenge them to fall more in love with
Jesus and to become voices for revival in the Church. I came across
a quote attributed most often to Rev. Sam Pascoe. It is a short
version of the history of Christianity, and it goes like this:
Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece
and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution;
it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and
became an enterprise. Some of the students were only 18 or 19
years old--barely out of diapers--and I wanted them to understand
and appreciate the import of the last line, so I clarified it by adding,
"An enterprise. That's a business." After a few moments Martha,
the youngest student in the class, raised her hand. I could not
imagine what her question might be. I thought the little vignette was
self-explanatory, and that I had performed it brilliantly. Nevertheless,
I acknowledged Martha's raised hand, "Yes, Martha." She asked
such a simple question, "A business? But isn't it supposed to be
a body?" I could not envision where this line of questioning was going,
and the only response I could think of was, "Yes." She continued,
"But when a body becomes a business, isn't that a prostitute?"
The room went dead silent. For several seconds no one moved or
spoke. We were stunned, afraid to make a sound because the
presence of God had flooded into the room, and we knew we were
on holy ground. All I could think in those sacred moments was,
"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that." I didn't dare express that thought
aloud. God had taken over the class.
Martha's question changed my life. For six months, I thought about
her question at least once every day. "When a body becomes a
business, isn't that a prostitute?" There is only one answer to her
question. The answer is "Yes." The American Church, tragically,
is heavily populated by people who do not love God. How can we
love Him? We don't even know Him; and I mean really know Him.
... I stand by my statement that most American Christians do not
know God--much less love Him. The root of this condition originates
in how we came to God. Most of us came to Him because of what
we were told He would do for us. We were promised that He would
bless us in life and take us to heaven after death. We married Him
for His money, and we don't care if He lives or dies as long as we
can get His stuff. We have made the Kingdom of God into a business,
merchandising His anointing. This should not be. We are commanded
to love God, and are called to be the Bride of Christ--that's pretty
intimate stuff. We are supposed to be His lovers. How can we love
someone we don't even know? And even if we do know someone,
is that a guarantee that we truly love them? Are we lovers or
prostitutes?
I was pondering Martha's question again one day, and considered
the question, "What's the difference between a lover and a prostitute?"
I realized that both do many of the same things, but a lover does
what she does because she loves. A prostitute pretends to love, but
only as long as you pay. Then I asked the question, "What would
happen if God stopped paying me?"
For the next several months, I allowed God to search me to uncover
my motives for loving and serving Him. Was I really a true lover of
God? What would happen if He stopped blessing me? What if He
never did another thing for me? Would I still love Him? Please
understand, I believe in the promises and blessings of God. The
issue here is not whether God blesses His children; the issue is
the condition of my heart. Why do I serve Him? Are His blessings
in my life the gifts of a loving Father, or are they a wage that I have
earned or a bribe/payment to love Him? Do I love God without any
conditions? It took several months to work through these questions.
Even now I wonder if my desire to love God is always matched by
my attitude and behavior. I still catch myself being disappointed
with God and angry that He has not met some perceived need in
my life. I suspect this is something which is never fully resolved,
but I want more than anything else to be a true lover of God.
So what is it going to be? Which are we, lover or prostitute?
There are no prostitutes in heaven, or in the Kingdom of God for
that matter, but there are plenty of former prostitutes in both
places. Take it from a recovering prostitute when I say there is no
substitute or unconditional, intimate relationship with God. And I
mean there is no palatable substitute available to us (take another
look at Matthew 7:21-23 sometime). We must choose.
-Dr. David Ryser.
-by David Ryser.
A number of years ago, I had the privilege of teaching at a school
of ministry. My students were hungry for God, and I was constantly
searching for ways to challenge them to fall more in love with
Jesus and to become voices for revival in the Church. I came across
a quote attributed most often to Rev. Sam Pascoe. It is a short
version of the history of Christianity, and it goes like this:
Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece
and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution;
it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and
became an enterprise. Some of the students were only 18 or 19
years old--barely out of diapers--and I wanted them to understand
and appreciate the import of the last line, so I clarified it by adding,
"An enterprise. That's a business." After a few moments Martha,
the youngest student in the class, raised her hand. I could not
imagine what her question might be. I thought the little vignette was
self-explanatory, and that I had performed it brilliantly. Nevertheless,
I acknowledged Martha's raised hand, "Yes, Martha." She asked
such a simple question, "A business? But isn't it supposed to be
a body?" I could not envision where this line of questioning was going,
and the only response I could think of was, "Yes." She continued,
"But when a body becomes a business, isn't that a prostitute?"
The room went dead silent. For several seconds no one moved or
spoke. We were stunned, afraid to make a sound because the
presence of God had flooded into the room, and we knew we were
on holy ground. All I could think in those sacred moments was,
"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that." I didn't dare express that thought
aloud. God had taken over the class.
Martha's question changed my life. For six months, I thought about
her question at least once every day. "When a body becomes a
business, isn't that a prostitute?" There is only one answer to her
question. The answer is "Yes." The American Church, tragically,
is heavily populated by people who do not love God. How can we
love Him? We don't even know Him; and I mean really know Him.
... I stand by my statement that most American Christians do not
know God--much less love Him. The root of this condition originates
in how we came to God. Most of us came to Him because of what
we were told He would do for us. We were promised that He would
bless us in life and take us to heaven after death. We married Him
for His money, and we don't care if He lives or dies as long as we
can get His stuff. We have made the Kingdom of God into a business,
merchandising His anointing. This should not be. We are commanded
to love God, and are called to be the Bride of Christ--that's pretty
intimate stuff. We are supposed to be His lovers. How can we love
someone we don't even know? And even if we do know someone,
is that a guarantee that we truly love them? Are we lovers or
prostitutes?
I was pondering Martha's question again one day, and considered
the question, "What's the difference between a lover and a prostitute?"
I realized that both do many of the same things, but a lover does
what she does because she loves. A prostitute pretends to love, but
only as long as you pay. Then I asked the question, "What would
happen if God stopped paying me?"
For the next several months, I allowed God to search me to uncover
my motives for loving and serving Him. Was I really a true lover of
God? What would happen if He stopped blessing me? What if He
never did another thing for me? Would I still love Him? Please
understand, I believe in the promises and blessings of God. The
issue here is not whether God blesses His children; the issue is
the condition of my heart. Why do I serve Him? Are His blessings
in my life the gifts of a loving Father, or are they a wage that I have
earned or a bribe/payment to love Him? Do I love God without any
conditions? It took several months to work through these questions.
Even now I wonder if my desire to love God is always matched by
my attitude and behavior. I still catch myself being disappointed
with God and angry that He has not met some perceived need in
my life. I suspect this is something which is never fully resolved,
but I want more than anything else to be a true lover of God.
So what is it going to be? Which are we, lover or prostitute?
There are no prostitutes in heaven, or in the Kingdom of God for
that matter, but there are plenty of former prostitutes in both
places. Take it from a recovering prostitute when I say there is no
substitute or unconditional, intimate relationship with God. And I
mean there is no palatable substitute available to us (take another
look at Matthew 7:21-23 sometime). We must choose.
-Dr. David Ryser.
Just to be fair I don't think this message applies to Insitutaional churches only, but also to millions in House Churches and Gathering that have come out of Insituational churches all over America.
This just goes to show you that when we follow a man, a doctrine, or a following we will all away be mislead. But when we follow Jesus his word and the Holy Spirit. He will always lead us to him self in personal and right relationship.
I've seen many House Church people come out of Insitutional Churches that they said were all about the man, power, doctrine, following and the money. Just to see them go back to following a man, a following, a new doctrine or new teaching and eventually end up about the money. So this leads me to conclude that you can be a prositude in a Insituational Church or House Church or Gathering. Only the pure heart will see God!
Jesus said that where your heart is there will your treasure will be. Were is your treasure? Is Jesus your treasure? Is he all you need? Or are you still looking for a treasure in your church or house church or following or some where else? Are you all sold out to him to where you can not be bought by a man, power, position, or things.
Where is your heart and disires? Only a pure heart will see God!
Just give me Jesus!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
ruckus
it was a circus. my family had a huge debate/misunderstanding/fight. it all began
when mum told jake to get lost and out of her sight. so, there he went. he went
about the ayala mall from netopia to the national bookstore. that happened
because mum got hot-headed early on. saying that jake didn't answer all her
calls. she said that that wasn't the first time, blah, blah, blah.
the big confrontation occured inside our humble-turned-wild home. all hurts were
said, all frustrations. well, mum was on the hot seat. dad was the calm and
composed dude, langlang, the rebellious (as usual), jake the silent (as usual),
and me the emotional. emotional? wtf!
yes, yes, we indeed cried. we cried our hearts out and everyone listened. mum and
langlang always had their shortcomings (never failed). none of them wanted to
stoop down. none of them wanted to lose, as dad said.
it never failed. everytime there is a huge gathering (the five of us) and we're
in a misunderstanding, mum and langlang always fight. women, ugh!
as for me, i said two things, one was that i was happy that this happened, hoped
that it won't happen again; and that i told the household that none of these
could've happened if dad was just here in the first place. he works outside cebu,
ya know! (cried frantically! :)
as usual, i said that it was all about how the discipline works within us
siblings. it was different, really. i mean dad wasn't there at all times to look
for jake. it was all mum. and a mum cares before disciplining and the rest is
history.
anyway, it didn't end quite well. mum promised to leave us alone, not to
supervise or to scold us at all anymore, blah, blah, blah.
if you're asking me if i'm scared, well, i'm not. i trust God, and i know that
there is something in store for this wild family. actually, we're not really
wild. he, he, he. it just turned out that way because of this conflict.
regardless, i can't wait for what's to happen!
when mum told jake to get lost and out of her sight. so, there he went. he went
about the ayala mall from netopia to the national bookstore. that happened
because mum got hot-headed early on. saying that jake didn't answer all her
calls. she said that that wasn't the first time, blah, blah, blah.
the big confrontation occured inside our humble-turned-wild home. all hurts were
said, all frustrations. well, mum was on the hot seat. dad was the calm and
composed dude, langlang, the rebellious (as usual), jake the silent (as usual),
and me the emotional. emotional? wtf!
yes, yes, we indeed cried. we cried our hearts out and everyone listened. mum and
langlang always had their shortcomings (never failed). none of them wanted to
stoop down. none of them wanted to lose, as dad said.
it never failed. everytime there is a huge gathering (the five of us) and we're
in a misunderstanding, mum and langlang always fight. women, ugh!
as for me, i said two things, one was that i was happy that this happened, hoped
that it won't happen again; and that i told the household that none of these
could've happened if dad was just here in the first place. he works outside cebu,
ya know! (cried frantically! :)
as usual, i said that it was all about how the discipline works within us
siblings. it was different, really. i mean dad wasn't there at all times to look
for jake. it was all mum. and a mum cares before disciplining and the rest is
history.
anyway, it didn't end quite well. mum promised to leave us alone, not to
supervise or to scold us at all anymore, blah, blah, blah.
if you're asking me if i'm scared, well, i'm not. i trust God, and i know that
there is something in store for this wild family. actually, we're not really
wild. he, he, he. it just turned out that way because of this conflict.
regardless, i can't wait for what's to happen!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Break of Dawn: Devotees Flock Tabor Hill
"Kuya, Kuya wake up!" My sister woke me up at 4:45 am today. Oh yeah. We were supposed to go pray at the Tabor Hill and do the Stations of the Cross.
The Holy Week marks the suffering and death of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Maunday-Thursday was the day when Jesus, as humble as he was, decided to wash the feet of his disciples. This was to show the true essence of servant leadership. And Good Friday was the day when the people that once praised him upon his entry to Jerusalem condemned him and connived to crucify him.
Today, the people that once conspired to put Jesus to death are now praying for salvation and eternal life. We may not look like it, but every single day of our life, we are still condemning Jesus and putting to waste what he has done for the greater good of mankind - death on the cross.
There was once a line that really touched my heart: How does Jesus love us? He opened his arms wide, like how he did on the cross. That's how big his love is for us.
A while ago, hundreds of devotees flocked the famous Tabor Hill of Brgy Talamban. They were there because they remembered that one time there was a man, by the name of Jesus, who died for their sins so that there will be no more sacrifices to be made. There was happiness in the atmosphere of the place. A happiness that sprung in the midst of walking under the basking sun. They probably were feeling the same sensation that Jesus went through during his suffering. But they weren't even close.
There has been a misconception that if we suffer like how Christ did, there is a chance that our sins will be forgiven. Well, what is the purpose of Christ dying for us if we do that? It irritates me how they show their suffering to thousands of observants all over the world.
Well, you see, Christ suffered like hell so that we will, in no way be in hell. He died a nasty death to show us that one suffering is enough, one death is enough to save us from the wages of sin and death. We don't need to go through the same suffering in order for us to be saved.
It has been written that it is by the grace of God that we are saved from the wages of sin and not by the good works we have done, in this case, showing off our bloody bodies.
I hope that someday, we can see Jesus smile on a Holy Week. I feel that Jesus is saddened by these series of events that's happening to Christians. Whoever made this crazy idea anyway?
View photos from my facebook account!
The Holy Week marks the suffering and death of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Maunday-Thursday was the day when Jesus, as humble as he was, decided to wash the feet of his disciples. This was to show the true essence of servant leadership. And Good Friday was the day when the people that once praised him upon his entry to Jerusalem condemned him and connived to crucify him.
Today, the people that once conspired to put Jesus to death are now praying for salvation and eternal life. We may not look like it, but every single day of our life, we are still condemning Jesus and putting to waste what he has done for the greater good of mankind - death on the cross.
There was once a line that really touched my heart: How does Jesus love us? He opened his arms wide, like how he did on the cross. That's how big his love is for us.
A while ago, hundreds of devotees flocked the famous Tabor Hill of Brgy Talamban. They were there because they remembered that one time there was a man, by the name of Jesus, who died for their sins so that there will be no more sacrifices to be made. There was happiness in the atmosphere of the place. A happiness that sprung in the midst of walking under the basking sun. They probably were feeling the same sensation that Jesus went through during his suffering. But they weren't even close.
There has been a misconception that if we suffer like how Christ did, there is a chance that our sins will be forgiven. Well, what is the purpose of Christ dying for us if we do that? It irritates me how they show their suffering to thousands of observants all over the world.
Well, you see, Christ suffered like hell so that we will, in no way be in hell. He died a nasty death to show us that one suffering is enough, one death is enough to save us from the wages of sin and death. We don't need to go through the same suffering in order for us to be saved.
It has been written that it is by the grace of God that we are saved from the wages of sin and not by the good works we have done, in this case, showing off our bloody bodies.
I hope that someday, we can see Jesus smile on a Holy Week. I feel that Jesus is saddened by these series of events that's happening to Christians. Whoever made this crazy idea anyway?
View photos from my facebook account!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
love defined
1 Jn 4:10 says, "This is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
Last January 28, Kuya Alex introduced us to a new topic called "love defined". He emphasized that love is not such a very kind word. Love is very strict. Love entails sacrifices. February has been dubbed as the "love month" for as long as i could remember. This is maybe because of that fated day of the 14th of February. There are moments wherein the young and the young at heart lets their feelings show only on this day. But should this be always? Here, Kuya Alex told us a lot of things and he was able to open our eyes, hearts, and minds as to what love should really be.
WE DON'T DESERVED TO BE LOVED.
WHAAT?!
As a matter of fact, we don't. I mean, look at us, are we really that pure that we deserve to be loved by someone? Everyone has flaws, everyone is imperfect, and for that mere reason, we don't deserve any love. But we are loved, aren't we?
LOVE INITIATES
We are loved because GOD loves us. We are loved because we are created by him not out of sheer lack of any fun but because he loved us. He wasn't even told, he was never told to love anyone, instead, he DECIDED to love us.
Love is a DECISION. We pray for someone like, "God, please send me the right man," or like, "God, i pray for this girl that she'll be mine. If she's not the right one for me, let her be." Isn't that something selfish? Love is not in any way selfish. Love is not about mushy feelings, it's about taking concrete steps to make that love possible.
There was a certain not-so-long-ago time where i had the realization that "praying won't answer all my requests, i should make a move and then pray that everything will just work out well." Incidentally, a week after that thought came up, Kuya Alex, in our weekly LIFE GROUP, opened a topic and it's all about love.
When we love, we should take active steps; these steps should be seen, heard, and felt by the one whom we want to share our love to. Love acts when the feelings are not felt. It's not gonna be everytime that love will be felt. It's not everytime that our hearts continue beating for the love of our lives. And it's not everytime that the words "I LOVE YOU" come from our sincerest feelings. There will come a time that when we see something we disaprove of in our loved ones, we get disappointed and frustrated. That is why love entails sacrifices. We must be able to see through these indifferences and just love that person no matter what. The reason is that it takes a huge effort to love. This will entirely cause our ATM (availability, time, money) to be used.
Love is about giving. It's like doing something good for someone without expecting anything back. Love is not cheap. When we love we should give it our all. Not 50% or 90%, rather, 100%. We don't control our lives and others, we might not expect it but our unselfishness may be the reason for a person to continue to live his life. Love is not focused on our PERSONAL NEEDS but of OTHERS NEEDS.
TRUE LOVE IS NOT ABOUT US, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU NOR ME, BUT OF OTHERS.
LOVE IS OTHERS-ORIENTED.
LOVE IS SEEKING THE HIGHER GOOD OF ANOTHER.
And again, LOVE IS A DECISION.
Finally, LOVE IS GOD AND GOD IS LOVE.
1 Jn 4:16 says, "God is love. Whoever lives in love loves in God, and God in him."
Dear reader, do you know Jesus? Have you met him? Well, i have. He promised me that i will see him very soon if i continue to love like how he loved me, like how he loved the entire world. He showed us a love that no one, NO ONE, could ever replace. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one that this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
My brother, Jesus, is THE epitome of love. And our Father is the true meaning of PERFECT LOVE.
So, just like them both, we should love each and everyone selflessly. Because LOVE INITIATES AN ACTION SACRIFICIALLY FOR OTHERS NEEDS.
Last January 28, Kuya Alex introduced us to a new topic called "love defined". He emphasized that love is not such a very kind word. Love is very strict. Love entails sacrifices. February has been dubbed as the "love month" for as long as i could remember. This is maybe because of that fated day of the 14th of February. There are moments wherein the young and the young at heart lets their feelings show only on this day. But should this be always? Here, Kuya Alex told us a lot of things and he was able to open our eyes, hearts, and minds as to what love should really be.
WE DON'T DESERVED TO BE LOVED.
WHAAT?!
As a matter of fact, we don't. I mean, look at us, are we really that pure that we deserve to be loved by someone? Everyone has flaws, everyone is imperfect, and for that mere reason, we don't deserve any love. But we are loved, aren't we?
LOVE INITIATES
We are loved because GOD loves us. We are loved because we are created by him not out of sheer lack of any fun but because he loved us. He wasn't even told, he was never told to love anyone, instead, he DECIDED to love us.
Love is a DECISION. We pray for someone like, "God, please send me the right man," or like, "God, i pray for this girl that she'll be mine. If she's not the right one for me, let her be." Isn't that something selfish? Love is not in any way selfish. Love is not about mushy feelings, it's about taking concrete steps to make that love possible.
There was a certain not-so-long-ago time where i had the realization that "praying won't answer all my requests, i should make a move and then pray that everything will just work out well." Incidentally, a week after that thought came up, Kuya Alex, in our weekly LIFE GROUP, opened a topic and it's all about love.
When we love, we should take active steps; these steps should be seen, heard, and felt by the one whom we want to share our love to. Love acts when the feelings are not felt. It's not gonna be everytime that love will be felt. It's not everytime that our hearts continue beating for the love of our lives. And it's not everytime that the words "I LOVE YOU" come from our sincerest feelings. There will come a time that when we see something we disaprove of in our loved ones, we get disappointed and frustrated. That is why love entails sacrifices. We must be able to see through these indifferences and just love that person no matter what. The reason is that it takes a huge effort to love. This will entirely cause our ATM (availability, time, money) to be used.
Love is about giving. It's like doing something good for someone without expecting anything back. Love is not cheap. When we love we should give it our all. Not 50% or 90%, rather, 100%. We don't control our lives and others, we might not expect it but our unselfishness may be the reason for a person to continue to live his life. Love is not focused on our PERSONAL NEEDS but of OTHERS NEEDS.
TRUE LOVE IS NOT ABOUT US, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU NOR ME, BUT OF OTHERS.
LOVE IS OTHERS-ORIENTED.
LOVE IS SEEKING THE HIGHER GOOD OF ANOTHER.
And again, LOVE IS A DECISION.
Finally, LOVE IS GOD AND GOD IS LOVE.
1 Jn 4:16 says, "God is love. Whoever lives in love loves in God, and God in him."
Dear reader, do you know Jesus? Have you met him? Well, i have. He promised me that i will see him very soon if i continue to love like how he loved me, like how he loved the entire world. He showed us a love that no one, NO ONE, could ever replace. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one that this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
My brother, Jesus, is THE epitome of love. And our Father is the true meaning of PERFECT LOVE.
So, just like them both, we should love each and everyone selflessly. Because LOVE INITIATES AN ACTION SACRIFICIALLY FOR OTHERS NEEDS.
Monday, January 26, 2009
In love with love
Being single means fun. But having an intimate relationship with someone we love is more fun. I mean, we know that at the end of the day, no matter how screwed we may get, there is someone who will comfort us.
Whenever I "think" that i feel strange about someone, strange in a good sense, I begin to think that I'm in love. That is true. Now, here's the catch, I'm not a good-looking guy but I am someone whom you'll love to talk with. And I think that i can entice anyone when I talk.
That is a total exaggeration. What I mean is, I can make the person like me when I begin to be me. Like, I'm just being true to myself. I talk endlessly!
Last Christmas, during the simbang gabi, I noticed an angelic lady in the church. The beat of my heart suddenly sped up. I was like, "Am I in love again?"
Then I saw her again during yesterday's mass. She just have this mesmerizing eyes. It's so joyful. Just staring at her makes me smile and say, "Thank you, Lord!"
Oh well, nothing really is permanent anyway. I have to see if I become consistent about my feelings to anyone. Or else, it will be trouble for me!
Whenever I "think" that i feel strange about someone, strange in a good sense, I begin to think that I'm in love. That is true. Now, here's the catch, I'm not a good-looking guy but I am someone whom you'll love to talk with. And I think that i can entice anyone when I talk.
That is a total exaggeration. What I mean is, I can make the person like me when I begin to be me. Like, I'm just being true to myself. I talk endlessly!
Last Christmas, during the simbang gabi, I noticed an angelic lady in the church. The beat of my heart suddenly sped up. I was like, "Am I in love again?"
Then I saw her again during yesterday's mass. She just have this mesmerizing eyes. It's so joyful. Just staring at her makes me smile and say, "Thank you, Lord!"
Oh well, nothing really is permanent anyway. I have to see if I become consistent about my feelings to anyone. Or else, it will be trouble for me!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
To wander off in the dreamland
That would have been so nice if it hadn't ended.
So many requirements with so little time. Exams are coming up like hair growing on my chin.
It has been a difficult second semester for me. It's like the MOST mind-racing, energy-draining, and time-consuming time in my entire life.
I wish I was a clockstopper and just make time stop as I demand. Maybe I could be Flash or Superman so that I can finish all creeping requirements in an instant.
But no! That couldn't be. I'm only human and my job is to suffer all these things that YOU, God, has given me. I could only curse me under my breath for not doing my job well. I was assigned like a point guard in a basketball team. I should be the one directing the tempo of the game. I should set the pace. I should drive, make openings and go for the goal. But I have been weak recently. Seems like I don't have enough energy to carry the ball all the way to the middle court. I want a substitute. I wan to quit this game and try another one with the hopes of doing it better the next time.
I was kind of wanting life to be like that.
Oh well, I just have to breathe deeply, focus on the game plan, and continue on this game of life. There will be no substitutes. I have to do this alone but of course with the help of my teammates just and ONLY for the greater glory of our GOOD LORD.
So many requirements with so little time. Exams are coming up like hair growing on my chin.
It has been a difficult second semester for me. It's like the MOST mind-racing, energy-draining, and time-consuming time in my entire life.
I wish I was a clockstopper and just make time stop as I demand. Maybe I could be Flash or Superman so that I can finish all creeping requirements in an instant.
But no! That couldn't be. I'm only human and my job is to suffer all these things that YOU, God, has given me. I could only curse me under my breath for not doing my job well. I was assigned like a point guard in a basketball team. I should be the one directing the tempo of the game. I should set the pace. I should drive, make openings and go for the goal. But I have been weak recently. Seems like I don't have enough energy to carry the ball all the way to the middle court. I want a substitute. I wan to quit this game and try another one with the hopes of doing it better the next time.
I was kind of wanting life to be like that.
Oh well, I just have to breathe deeply, focus on the game plan, and continue on this game of life. There will be no substitutes. I have to do this alone but of course with the help of my teammates just and ONLY for the greater glory of our GOOD LORD.
Monday, January 19, 2009
breaking the habit
I think i just broke someone's heart.
January 17, 2008
The eve of the fiesta of Señor Sto Niño drove me past the tiresome and troublesome task of walking for four hours during the annual procession. I had to take detours so that i will be able to go through the mammoth crowd of devotees just to get to my destination. My destination was nowhere in particular except that i had to be with someone. The network was troublesome, too. A little bit more and i was going to be mad. I constantly texted and called Chatty so that i may locate and be with her. It gave me a hard time, really. But after the long wait, there she was.
As we were going to join the crowd, she held my hand, and i her. I was comfortable, she wasn't. Her hand was cold. It was as if she wasn't sure of what she was doing. I held on.
During the procession, I prayed for my family's finances that it will be doing good because i wanted to buy a laptop worth 35k. I also prayed for my studies that everything will turn out excellent. I prayed for my family and I prayed for Chatty. I was like, "Lord, I know that it is always up to you. But i think that you wouldn't be able to do anything unless i pray for it. So here i am, praying for Chatty. She is a nice lady and she's just like my mother except for the cooking. Dear God, please answer. In Jesus' name i pray. Amen."
In the back of my mind, i was also thinking of Mia. We were in an unstable position wherein we were in love but at the same time also tentative. Gash! What would it be?! I was weighing the possibilities. Mia was pretty, yes, i like that but that's the problem She's too pretty. And boys were flocking her from all parts of the globe.
And something hit me. Nara Shikamaru, a friend of Uzumaki Naruto (I'm a fan), said before his near-death experience or something like this, "I wish to be a ninja and have a job. Marry a woman who is not beautiful nor ugly. Have two children with her, a boy and a girl. I will retire from my ninja work after my son has a job and my daughter has married. And i will play chess in my entire life until i grow old and die. That is my wish." Or something like that. But the point is, nothing is permanent in this world and we must live it simply and not make it complicated, else it will become too troublesome.
When the procession almost came to an end, "I love you, will you be my girlfriend?" I've known Chatty for only over three months. We have not met often but we communicate everyday. She helps me, i help her. We've been through ups and a lotta downs. We encourage, laugh, and talk endlessly may it be sensible or not. "I cannot answer you yet, lemme think about it," she said. "I'll take that as a yes," i thought. We wave goodbye, smiling.
And the problem came when we part ways. What about the other girl? Will i tell her or not? if not, i cannot keep her hopes high. I don't want the punishment of eternal death. I decided to tell her the day after.
After a short talk, she said that it was a good thing that i told her so that she will not hope for anything that involves intimacy between her and me. The next morning, she gave me something, a necklace with the name JOHMIAN. I said thank you and watch her go.
Outside my window, i continually watched her. I think she was about to cry but she mustered all her strength not to. I promised her that i won't make her cry. Now, i think i broke her heart.
January 17, 2008
The eve of the fiesta of Señor Sto Niño drove me past the tiresome and troublesome task of walking for four hours during the annual procession. I had to take detours so that i will be able to go through the mammoth crowd of devotees just to get to my destination. My destination was nowhere in particular except that i had to be with someone. The network was troublesome, too. A little bit more and i was going to be mad. I constantly texted and called Chatty so that i may locate and be with her. It gave me a hard time, really. But after the long wait, there she was.
As we were going to join the crowd, she held my hand, and i her. I was comfortable, she wasn't. Her hand was cold. It was as if she wasn't sure of what she was doing. I held on.
During the procession, I prayed for my family's finances that it will be doing good because i wanted to buy a laptop worth 35k. I also prayed for my studies that everything will turn out excellent. I prayed for my family and I prayed for Chatty. I was like, "Lord, I know that it is always up to you. But i think that you wouldn't be able to do anything unless i pray for it. So here i am, praying for Chatty. She is a nice lady and she's just like my mother except for the cooking. Dear God, please answer. In Jesus' name i pray. Amen."
In the back of my mind, i was also thinking of Mia. We were in an unstable position wherein we were in love but at the same time also tentative. Gash! What would it be?! I was weighing the possibilities. Mia was pretty, yes, i like that but that's the problem She's too pretty. And boys were flocking her from all parts of the globe.
And something hit me. Nara Shikamaru, a friend of Uzumaki Naruto (I'm a fan), said before his near-death experience or something like this, "I wish to be a ninja and have a job. Marry a woman who is not beautiful nor ugly. Have two children with her, a boy and a girl. I will retire from my ninja work after my son has a job and my daughter has married. And i will play chess in my entire life until i grow old and die. That is my wish." Or something like that. But the point is, nothing is permanent in this world and we must live it simply and not make it complicated, else it will become too troublesome.
When the procession almost came to an end, "I love you, will you be my girlfriend?" I've known Chatty for only over three months. We have not met often but we communicate everyday. She helps me, i help her. We've been through ups and a lotta downs. We encourage, laugh, and talk endlessly may it be sensible or not. "I cannot answer you yet, lemme think about it," she said. "I'll take that as a yes," i thought. We wave goodbye, smiling.
And the problem came when we part ways. What about the other girl? Will i tell her or not? if not, i cannot keep her hopes high. I don't want the punishment of eternal death. I decided to tell her the day after.
After a short talk, she said that it was a good thing that i told her so that she will not hope for anything that involves intimacy between her and me. The next morning, she gave me something, a necklace with the name JOHMIAN. I said thank you and watch her go.
Outside my window, i continually watched her. I think she was about to cry but she mustered all her strength not to. I promised her that i won't make her cry. Now, i think i broke her heart.
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