Still in Chains

It has been a month since school life was over. I finished my Bachelor's Degree without any bang. Not even a thud or thump or whatever you call it. It was a point in my life where I was torn if I would be happy that I already graduated or sad that I wasn't able to glide through the stage of success called the Commencement Rites. It isn't a complicated story actually.

Final year, final semester in college and I blew it by not accomplishing one important part - thesis. Damnit. Each time I think about it, I get pissed off. You know why? Wanna know why? Because I was stupid, naive, and and idiot. Why, you knew that of course! Duh!

Sometimes I curse Facebook. I think it was the bigger reason as to why I am like this now. Well, not Facebook per se, but my addiction to it. Ugh! I know you know the feeling. Now, because of Facebook, I see a lot of my friends going on and about their vacations here, vacations there, vacations everywhere! It's like I'm being punished by the same reason why I failed. What irony!

And worse of all, I cannot go ask my parents about me going somewhere with friends without asking money. That's the embarrassing part. I feel like I'm still in chains. I feel like a leashed dog. I cannot basically complain about everything because they have something that's backing them up- my failure.

Now, I'm thinking about finishing the thesis once and for all. Yes, I've been thinking about it. I've only been thinking about it. I haven't done anything significant yet, really.

I'm lazy. And it's increasing exponentially. God save my soul!

Under my skin

I have less to say about you. Really. It's just that every time we talk, you just get under my skin! You talk less. It's like.. I don't know..

I don't know what to say :/

Headphones

My headphones are somehow broken, but it still works though. My sister kept on using it; I don't know how on earth she handles things. Nothing lasts!

Anyway, I'm at the 11th episode of the third season of The Big Bang Theory and, boy, I am having the time of my life! The second episode of the same season is my favorite among all TV series in all of the earth. It was just freakin' hilarious! heh

I still lack sleep T_T hafta sleep.. hafta

Weird Dreams

I had a very weird dream last night. Well, I've been having weird dreams the past few nights. There was one which was also weird but I cannot somehow recall it. I just have a feeling that it was weird though.

I dreamt that I died. I drowned (I think). I don't remember much of the details since it happened about a week ago. I don't even remember the reason why I wasn't able to write about that dream.

Last night I had two dreams: I became immortal and I was jogging/running in a place where I don't know what it was.

I've become a fan of the Full Metal Alchemist manga. It's a story about a boy who lost his right arm, left leg, and the soul of his brother due to his recklessness; he failed to revive their mother. In the story, they had enemies that were called Homunculus. They were beings made out of the souls of many people. They were immortal unless killed for so many times. Their names were derived from the 7 Deadly Sins: Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Greed. My dream included Lust. I was dying. I came to one of them in order to somehow let them share their life on me. I was able to trick Lust and I got her Sorcerer's Stone and inserted it on my body; a hole just above my buttcrack.

My body regained it's original form. When the Sorcerer's Stone was inserted, there was a tingling feeling, especially on my left knee. I was happy. I told dad about it and he was also happy. Scribblings were left on my knee saying something that it was completely healed. But I also realized that I have become immortal. It worried me so much because I will be watching all my loved ones die and I'll be left alone with no one to love.

The dream went on. I visited my high school. I saw my classmates but they were much younger than me. They didn't know me but I knew them. They thought I was weird until I let them see the pictures I had in my wallet. They were surprised. Then I toured the world. I got scholarship grants. I became a pilot. I was 22 all the time.

In the next dream, I was running like crazy. I think this is because I watched Narnia: Prince Caspian before I slept; there was a lot of chasing scenes. In the dream, I was with around 6 people. I am not sure who they were but we were together. There was no prize to win but we had a mental competition as to who will get to the finish line first. We ran in a large field, a camp of police officers, and another large field. We did that for 3 days.

I think that those second dream was a continuation of the first. I mean, I had my left knee healed so maybe that was why I was able to run that course.

I must read this again and somehow interpret it on my own. But I would be very grateful if somebody out there will stumble upon this blog and help me interpret it.

In a Rush

This is a quick post caused by dizziness from drinking beer and by a fruit. :D

I drank beer early this evening so that I may have a good night sleep. Last night wasn't really a good night because my good sister added Espresso to the coffee that she ordered me. Basically, it rendered me restless and I wasn't able to sleep properly. I laid down at 3:30 am. Muscled my way to doze off to no avail.

The coffee caused my stomach to feel funny. Since coffee is known to be a very good cleaner of the stomach. Well, it is. The reaction just didn't have the perfect timing. I kept on waking up the entire time I tried to sleep. Funny, isn't it?

At around 10 in the morning, I psyched myself up that I would just sleep early today to regain what has been lost in my body- right body clock and rest.

On another note, when I was taking a bath a few days back, the song that played here in the house, as far as I can remember, were Please Forgive Me and Beautiful Girl. It was so timely since I was thinking about one girl. She's like a fruit by the way, if you know what I mean.

That was the time when I wasn't hearing anything from her for a week. Apparently, she still had some issues with her ex-boyfriend. She's still confused because of her feelings. I am one of the reasons why she's not feeling good about it. But why am I feeling good about it? heh

The Proud Parent

His kids just graduated from High School and Elementary. They are splendid kids. Each excelling in the fields of music, leadership, and academics. Tina had 6 medals and Yami had 4. And both were bubbly, too.

I really saw my Godfather beam with pride as we entered his house early this evening; or shall I say, yesterday evening. You can feel the aura of success over-flowing inside the house. Both of my godparents have become bubbly to the point that Daddy C showed off to his guests by calling out Yami and Tina to play the violin to them.

Immanuel A. Martinez

"Well, lucky us!" They continuously told me in a sarcastic manner. They weren't exactly happy. I'm not sure why but I think it's because they grew tired of always playing the instrument whenever there is an occasion in the house. They told me they were scared of Daddy C since the last time they didn't do good, they were whacked with the violin. hah!

I still encouraged them to play though. It was good but for him, it wasn't good enough. He was frustrated. The kids grew scared even more. So me and my sister just talked to them. We went through various topics as school, music, and horror films. Yami was so nervous, he got leaves from outside the house and cut it as we were talking. He was sweating profusely, too.

Christina A. Martinez

I cannot blame Daddy C if he was frustrated. He was all high and mighty to his guests about the talent of the kids and yet they didn't do so well. At least for him. But the guests were quite entertained as far as I'm concerned.

Whether the kids did good or not depends on the listener but for Tina and Yami, they thought that it was a pretty good show. I thought it was a pretty good show. Daddy C was the only one not satisfied with it. Nevertheless, he was still proud about the accomplishments his kids had.

CONGRATS TINA AND YAMI!!

The Old-Fashion Way

I read over SunStar's Entertainment section about how John Cusack makes friends. He does it the old-fashioned way. I practically do the same thing. Bump into someone, say hi, talk over coffee, exchanging numbers, and the like. Although, I miss out on the talk-over-coffee thing. I don't have the pockets for this kind of stuff. lol

He said that talking to friends via email or text messaging makes him bored. He is not that entirely sure that the friend he is talking to is really the person he wanted to talk to. He was kidding, of course. I guess he is the type of person who really treasures people. He is there to mingle, to just have fun with the friends he knows... and sees.

Making friends over the internet is not that bad at all. It somehow widens the circle that we currently have. And it is somehow ironic. You have 500 friends on Facebook, 300 followers on Twitter, and 400 buddies on MySpace, but in reality, you have only around 100 real friends. Friends whom you can really talk to in times of fun and whom you can talk to less when you are in trouble. The irony!


But those are true friends. And that is what John Cusack wants in a relationship-- real ones.


Someday, when I have the budget, I'll ask my buddies out for a stroll, or over coffee, or something. Nothing can replace the moments you have with those close to you.

The Pudding Guy | Futility Closet

The Pudding Guy |
Futility Closet

Wasn't he just the luckiest guy? LOL

I wonder what he's feeling after taking all those flights. He probably might get used to the sensations above land than being on land. Heck, he might even get car-lagged just by travelling from his home to his office. hahaha

I wish I was this guy. Even for just 5 flights XD

Good Friday

This year's Good Friday was kinda boring. The only thing that kept from completely doing nothing was the internet. My eyes were totally locked on to Lappie the entire day. From Facebook-ing to Multiply-ing to Blogger-ing to YouTube-ing to downloading stuff to watching/reading the downloaded stuff. And reading blogs all over what I may stumble on.

The one thing that fascinated me, well the thing is a person, was a former high school classmate and a friend, Darliza. She's a freelance writer. I can't say much about her but one thing's for sure, I like everything that she writes. Well, not everything but pretty much every... thing. Darn.

Anyway, this day was very much unlike last year's. I was hoping that today would be another good Good Friday. Since fate didn't give me that (I injured my knee last Saturday again), me and my family were much like bums. We stayed at the comforts of our home doing what we thought was right for the moment- nothing. We woke up, ate, cleaned, ironed (mom did that), and internet. Internet, to me, has already become a verb. Psh

We prayed the rosary at the time the Christ died, which was at 3 pm. Something was lacking during that prayer time. Something was not right. I didn't feel any holiness rush through my veins. Believe me, when I pray, and pray sincerely, it just feels like I am cleansed every time. And nope, it didn't happen today.

So after 7 hours we had our dinner at McDonald's. We had our lunch at around 2 pm. Okay, so it's not dinner. It's, hmm, near-midnight snacks. lol




I think this is my first time digging in to a BigMac. So I took a photo. It looks totally different from the picture. And yeah, why do all the meals from any fast food chain don't look like the ones they show on their posters? It looks a lot smaller. It lacked juice, or air, or the feeling of drooling-over-posters when it is there in front of you.

This Good Friday may not have been as good as last year's but still, it's all good. :D

Holy Week

Okay. So I was scared.

I was browsing over the internet about the original sins. Then I came across the mortal and deadly sins. I looked at the deadly sins and it says there are seven that we MUST avoid. These are lust, gluttony, greed, wrath, pride, envy, and sloth.

Well at first, these weren't quite scary. What scared me was the details as to how this sins were described.

Alright, starting this point on, I will be writing what has been committed to memory late this afternoon. I must not cheat so as not to have my thoughts get biased if I will browse over the content from the internet.

Uhmm how should I put this. I know for a fact the masturbation is a sin. And I also know that, man as I am, I can't control myself. I watch porn, I indulge in very immoral thoughts, and I lust for women. I, myself, have not gotten to any sexual intercourse. I would not want to somehow put salt to the injury I have inflicted myself.

Porn has somehow, hmmm, excited and made my mind more creative. Well, the positions and how you do the foreplay to.. getting back to the original discussion. I was totally surprised when I learned that oral whatnots during sexual intercourse is a big no-no. I mean I enjoy watching those ladies do that to.. well.. Anal sex is also a HUGE no-no. Then again, I do enjoy the screams of.. My goodness!

Yes, yes. I keep on saying that I will do my best to stop those immoral acts. I admit, I have been trying and failing and trying and failing. It's an endless cycle of me failing to try and do my best to just stop all this craziness I've been doing.

Aside from all things related to sex, what also surprised me are these things:
.despair
.feeling sorry for one's self
.apathy; I've known this for quite a while but it still surprises me
.and what the book of Proverbs wrote
A proud look
A lying tongue
Hands that shed innocent blood
A heart that devises wicked plots
Feet that are swift to run into mischief
A deceitful witness that uttereth lies
Him that soweth discord among brethren

Now, that I got to review this, I just realized how sinful I am. The proud look; the lying tongue; a heart that devices evilness. My goodness!