END GAME JITTERS

Four days has passed since the announcement that a final day of reckoning will be given to the students that failed last semester's STEEL DESIGN course. And that day has come to a close. That day is tomorrow.

I have prepared for this upcoming major event in my life for four days already. I have studied well; photocopied an entire book (which is illegal); i have asked questions to classmates and teachers alike; and I've prayed like I've never prayed before. These things I have done will be tested tomorrow. How far have I really gone in terms of studying this subject? How far has my faith gone ever since the news that I failed and that we can take another shot in this subject? Tomorrow is the final date.

As usual, I psyched myself for this exam. I've encouraged myself over and over again that I should study well. But during the final day of my studies, all energy in the world suddenly goes down like a water in a glass drank by a thirsty man. I keep on wondering why that happens every time. It seems like my subconscious mind is telling me that I'm ready. That I can take the exam head on with no blood spilled. However, that is really not the case. I mean, I'm still scared. Although I already said to myself that everything's gonna be alright and that I will pass this course 100%, I'm still scared. I'm just a baby thrown into a den of hungry dogs ready to devour anything in front of them.

I opened and read several books pertaining to Steel Design. It's working, yes, but only for a little while. This crazy hormones of mine is not really helping. I can't remember something for too long! Well, a friend of mine said that masturbating can cause memory gap. Therefore, I haven't done that for quite a time now. And I hope this time, everything will flow smoothly.

God, help me through this! Our fates will be changed forever with the result of tomorrow's exam. And I want a good one. But dear God, whatever happens, may I break it or make it, I'll still continue to love you and your wonderful creations.

I can do this!

Kicked the Bucket

Yesterday, we celebrated ALL SOULS' DAY but it is only today that I had the chance to visit my late uncle and lolo here in Cebu. I was able to go talk to my late uncle, whom I never saw, and lolo, whom I only saw in his coffin, last Sunday.

We lit the candle, said our prayers to our late relatives, and went to the big cross to pray for all dear souls to go to heaven. As I walked away from the big cross I realized that I still have a lot in life that is in store for me. I said a short and sincere prayer to God: Dear God, I will do my best to live this life to the best of my abilities so that when it is time to kick my bucket, I'll be able to say in front of you, "I used all the things you have given me". In Jesus name I pray. Amen.